Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Now that technology has become more affordable and accessible, many
adults
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and
children
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are doing their work or studying from the comfort of their homes. Some argue that
this
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change is a positive advancement, but some
also
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have a contrasting opinion regarding
this
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change.
This
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essay agrees that being productive from
home
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is a positive development for
employees
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and students because people will have more free
time
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for other productive uses and the adversity of less socialization caused by the use of technology can be mitigated. By working or learning from their houses,
employees
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and students will have plenty of free
time
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.
This
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is because, mobilizing from
home
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to the office or
school
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usually requires a lot of
time
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, because of the distance, traffic, and other factors. With their work or study being moved from the conventional office and
school
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,
adults
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and
children
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can make use of their
time
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for other activities,
such
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as leisure activities that are good for mental health,
instead
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of transporting.
For instance
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, the average
time
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for
employees
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to go to their offices in Jakarta is 2 hours, bringing in the factor of traffic congestion and long distance.
However
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, working or learning from
home
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can hinder
adults
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and
children
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from socializing.
This
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is to say that, by being in the office or
school
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,
children
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and
adults
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are meeting and communicating with their peers physically, and these social interactions will be reduced when people work or study in their houses.
However
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, with the existence of social media applications,
this
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problem can be solved.
For example
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, meetings and
school
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lessons can be done through an app called Zoom, which works as a video conference platform. In conclusion, the benefit of having more free
time
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and an innovative app that enables people to socialize in real-
time
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through
internet
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the internet
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,
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apply
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makes working or learning from
home
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a positive change for
employees
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and students.

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coherence cohesion
The essay logically progresses through the argument, but some transitions could be smoother. For example, use more linking phrases like 'Moreover' or 'Additionally' to connect sentences more naturally.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and supported it with relevant examples. To further enhance this, you might consider providing a counterargument or discussing potential drawbacks more thoroughly before reaffirming your position.
task achievement
While the main points are adequately supported, you could improve the clarity of your ideas by further developing your examples. For instance, explain how reducing commute time can directly benefit mental health and productivity.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the essay well.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the task and is well-structured, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as the average commute time in Jakarta and the use of Zoom, to support your points, which makes your argument more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • work-life balance
  • environmental impact
  • socio-economic background
  • face-to-face interaction
  • interpersonal skills
  • productivity
  • reliable technology
  • quality of education
  • flexible schedule
  • cost savings
  • commuting
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