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Writing Samples
Band 3

This is an IELTS writing task 1 sample answer essay from the new IELTS Cambridge 18 book of past tests on the topic of the number of US households (in millions) by annual income.

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A glance at the bar chart provided highlights the total number of
families
Use synonyms
 in the United States was divided into four levels,
categorizing
Wrong verb form
categorised
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 by the average annual
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
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 from the year 2007 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ranking shows the increasing economic imbalance of the United
State
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States
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 society
among
Change preposition
during
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 those 8 years. Noticeably, the numbers of the most wealthy
families
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 and the least wealthy
families
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 both increased through the given period. To probe more deeply, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 who earn over $100,000, less than $25,000, and between $25,000 to $49,999 yearly were all under the line of 30
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millions
Change to singular
million
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, from 2007 to 2011.
However
Linking Words
, the
families
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 who earn over $100,000 a year reached a new height
as
Change preposition
of
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 around 33
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2015,
while
Linking Words
 the numbers of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 who earn less than $25,000 and from $25,000 to $49,999 both almost climbed over 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2011 and had a little go down at about 2.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 2015.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, what should be particularly mentioned are the groups of
families
Use synonyms
earn
Correct pronoun usage
that earn
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Correct article usage
an averagely
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averagely
Change the word
average
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$
Change preposition
of $
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50,000 to $74,999 and $75,000 to $99,999 who remained
being
Change the verb form
to be
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 the
last
Linking Words
 and the second
last
Linking Words
 at all
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, with the numbers keep level off from 2007 to 2015 at separately 21% and 15%.
Submitted by tvkevin0910681085 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information. Additionally, ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence that alerts the reader to the main idea being discussed.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that all the main trends are described clearly and precisely. Avoid ambiguous phrases and provide more specific data from the chart to substantiate your points.
general
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can detract from the clarity of your writing. Proofreading your work can help reduce such errors.
task achievement
The essay covers all required points and describes the overall trend effectively.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay shows a good attempt to analyze and interpret data, emphasizing the economic imbalance in U.S. society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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