IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
A group of individuals present the view that
advertisements
 are still significantly affecting our decisions to purchase goods,
whereas
, others believe that advertising is so typical these
days
 and we do not pay attention to them as much as in the old
days
. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
 justifiably argue that advertising is a key part of modern business and they inform us about the choices we have,
moreover
, advertising can be used to introduce the various features of a product to customers.
Therefore
,
people
 are more likely to be attracted by eye-catching
advertisements
 like huge billboards in the centre of the cities.
In addition
, there is evidence that shows
people
 get more encouraged to buy the goods and
products
 that they often see in
advertisements
 and
besides
, we all know that
advertisements
 have always led to the success of businesses.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
 claim that
people
 see
advertisements
 everywhere these
days
 and their awareness about them has risen
as a result
 of advancements in technology. They insist that
people
 do not care about how much a business or a company advertises its
products
 and
people
 can easily decide what they are looking for.
However
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing because
people
 of all periods of time are willing to buy the
products
 that are produced by famous and reliable companies, and I believe that companies which are more active in the advertising industry attract more attention from
people
 who are looking for high-quality
products
. In conclusion, in my view, advertising plays a vital role in attracting individuals’ attention,
thus
, companies that invest more in
this
 industry are more likely to sell their
products
 easily.
Moreover
, it is true that these
days
 advertising is more common than ever,
although
, it has not lost its power to persuade
people
.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

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task achievement
While your essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, including more specific examples would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally coherent and easy to follow. However, ensure that all points are equally developed to enhance logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and reinforce your main points well.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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