Some people think that children should spend more time on schoolwork, while others believe they should spend more time on hobbies. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often said that

children

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’s

time

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should be used wisely. Some people think that students should focus more on

schoolwork

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while

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others believe that

hobbies

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and leisure activities are equally important.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. Those who believe

children

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should spend more

time

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schoolwork

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argue that it helps them get better grades. Good academic results are important for future success.

For example

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, students who study hard usually get into better universities. If

children

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spend more

time

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on homework and revision, they are likely to perform well in exams.

This

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can lead to more opportunities in their career later.

On the other hand

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, some people think

hobbies

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are very important for

children

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’s development.

Hobbies

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like sports, music, or drawing help

children

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learn new skills and relax.

For example

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, a child who plays football can learn teamwork and discipline. If

children

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spend all their

time

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schoolwork

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, they might feel stressed and lose interest in learning.

Therefore

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hobbies

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are necessary for a balanced life. In my opinion, both

schoolwork

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and

hobbies

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are important.

Children

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should study enough to achieve good results, but they should

also

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have

time

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for

hobbies

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to relax and develop other skills.

For example

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, a student can spend two hours on homework and one hour on a hobby every day.

This

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balance can help

children

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succeed academically and enjoy their childhood.

To conclude

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while

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focusing on

schoolwork

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helps

children

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achieve academic success,

hobbies

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are essential for personal growth and relaxation. A balance between study and leisure is the best approach for a healthy and successful life.

avipatel9831

Aug 14, 2025

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structure

Be more clear about your view in the intro and restate it simply at the end.

content

Give more detail to each idea and add one or two stronger examples.

language

Use a bit more link words to show how ideas are linked and to avoid repeating phrases.

language

Try a little more variety in sentence length and form.

structure

End with a short, strong closing sentence that sums up.

strength

Clear stance from start and steady tone.

strength

Balanced talk on both sides.

strength

Good examples to back points.

strength

Easy to read and well laid out.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

265 words

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