Many people use social media on regular basis in order to keep in touch with the news and with other people. Do you think that the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages
The popularity of social media is quickly increasing nowadays.
Moreover
, a high proportion of the population are diaries using these networks to be updated with the news or to maintain contact with their friends. In my opinion, the merits outweigh the drawbacks and Linking Words
this
essay pretends to explain why.
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To begin
with, the speed of the internet allows people to be informed almost immediately. Meanwhile, It is impossible for just one individual to review all the news on the websites, it is possible to stay well informed just with social media. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter enable one to write and forward all kinds of data. Linking Words
For example
, if something important happens, like a natural disaster, one of your Facebook contacts could write it, and if it is actually transcendental, their contacts are going to replicate the information. In Linking Words
this
way, everyone could search more about it if they are interested.
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On the other hand
, it is Linking Words
also
true that the info on social networks could not be reliable. Linking Words
Additionally
, it could create misinformation, and it does. Linking Words
Gossips
and rumours are highly widespread throughout the net. That said, it is not less true Fix the agreement mistake
Gossip
that is
everyone's responsibility to check the information, and not to share it if you are not sure about it. Linking Words
For example
, a huge quantity of problems have been caused when a natural disaster happens, and the community starts to share Linking Words
rumors
. Change the spelling
rumours
This
could be fixed if we assume personal responsibility for Linking Words
this
, and the government develop laws to regulate Linking Words
this
.
In conclusion, it is true that being informed by social media is not always reliable, but the benefits surpass the drawbacks if people use it wisely.Linking Words
Submitted by caritolobos on
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow within your paragraphs. Ensure that each sentence naturally follows from the previous one. Consider using more transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to provide more detailed and varied examples to thoroughly support your points. This will better illustrate your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
general language use
Be cautious of grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'are diaries using' should be 'are regularly using' and 'one of your Facebook contacts could write it' could be better phrased. This will help improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a strong structure.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples which help in reinforcing your ideas. This is crucial for supporting your main points.
task achievement
Your essay stays focused on answering the prompt thoroughly, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media use.