In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

There are few nations,
it
Rephrase
where it
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is better to stay own dormitory for citizens to
compared
Change the form of the verb
compare
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with
the
Correct article usage
a
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rented
one
. The main reason behind
on
Change preposition
apply
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this
is most of the
people
are in good economic condition and the country has developed in the real estate business. From my perspective,
this
ambience will give a positive result in the society.
Initially
, all developed countries
people have
Verb problem
are
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interested in purchasing their own
residence
Fix the agreement mistake
residences
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they all come from the middle class and
below
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apply
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buying their own villas is
one
of their dreams
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Hence
, they are more concerned for their own residents.
Moreover
,
well
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in well
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improved
Correct your spelling
well-proven
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city the land rates are soaring very high, so most
of
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apply
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individuals who are in an economically good position are more keen to purchase a flat or
home
. Nowadays, owning a
home
is a very essential requirement for all levels
people
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of people
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, whether they aren’t well
in
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apply
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financial
Change the word
financially
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but owning a
home
is
one
of the basic amenities.
Furthermore
,
due to
the development of technology, most of the countries are debuting new companies and employment among the public.
Hence
, the real estate business is developing daily in urban areas. If
people
start to buy their own residents the country’s economy
as well as
the real estate business will increase tremendously. To illustrate, in my country the biggest city is Mumbai,
there
Correct your spelling
where
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most of the
people
stay in
a rented houses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a rented house
rented houses
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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because the cost of land and
home
are very high.
Thus
, they are encountering a lot of problems.
For example
, the rent of a dormitory is high and the living atmosphere is not beneficial for them.
To conclude
, at present situation own house is
one
of the most essential requirements for all level
people
and it will be safer for them and their offspring.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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vocabulary
Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to avoid repetition, e.g., using 'residence' and 'resident' multiple times.
examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
idea development
Ensure that all ideas are clearly and comprehensively developed, especially in the body paragraphs.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed the task with clear reasons why owning a home is valued and provided your perspective on the situation.
coherence
The overall coherence and logical flow of the essay is good.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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