In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #situation

There are few nations,

Rephrase

where it

show examples

is better to stay own dormitory for citizens to

compared

Change the form of the verb

compare

show examples

with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

rented

one

. The main reason behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

is most of the

people

are in good economic condition and the country has developed in the real estate business. From my perspective,

this

ambience will give a positive result in the society.

Initially

, all developed countries

people have

Verb problem

are

show examples

interested in purchasing their own

residence

Fix the agreement mistake

residences

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they all come from the middle class and

below

Change preposition

apply

show examples

buying their own villas is

one

of their dreams

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Hence

, they are more concerned for their own residents.

Moreover

well

Change preposition

in well

show examples

improved

Correct your spelling

well-proven

show examples

city the land rates are soaring very high, so most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

individuals who are in an economically good position are more keen to purchase a flat or

home

. Nowadays, owning a

home

is a very essential requirement for all levels

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

, whether they aren’t well

Change preposition

apply

show examples

financial

Change the word

financially

show examples

but owning a

home

one

of the basic amenities.

Furthermore

due to

the development of technology, most of the countries are debuting new companies and employment among the public.

Hence

, the real estate business is developing daily in urban areas. If

people

start to buy their own residents the country’s economy

as well as

the real estate business will increase tremendously. To illustrate, in my country the biggest city is Mumbai,

there

Correct your spelling

where

show examples

most of the

people

stay in

a rented houses

Correct the article-noun agreement

a rented house

rented houses

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because the cost of land and

home

are very high.

Thus

, they are encountering a lot of problems.

For example

, the rent of a dormitory is high and the living atmosphere is not beneficial for them.

To conclude

, at present situation own house is

one

of the most essential requirements for all level

people

and it will be safer for them and their offspring.

Submitted by smsundaram57 on Sun Jun 23 2024

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vocabulary

Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to avoid repetition, e.g., using 'residence' and 'resident' multiple times.

examples

Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.

idea development

Ensure that all ideas are clearly and comprehensively developed, especially in the body paragraphs.

structure

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You addressed the task with clear reasons why owning a home is valued and provided your perspective on the situation.

coherence

The overall coherence and logical flow of the essay is good.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

The rise of social media has affecred personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future , more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not to travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some believe that it is better to get advice from old people compared to young people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+