In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

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There are few nations,
it
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where it
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is better to stay own dormitory for citizens to
compared
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compare
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with
the
Correct article usage
a
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rented
one
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. The main reason behind
on
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apply
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this
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is most of the
people
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are in good economic condition and the country has developed in the real estate business. From my perspective,
this
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ambience will give a positive result in the society.
Initially
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, all developed countries
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people have
Verb problem
are
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interested in purchasing their own
residence
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residences
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,
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apply
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because they all come from the middle class and
below
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apply
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buying their own villas is
one
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of their dreams
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Hence
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, they are more concerned for their own residents.
Moreover
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,
well
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in well
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improved
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well-proven
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city the land rates are soaring very high, so most
of
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apply
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individuals who are in an economically good position are more keen to purchase a flat or
home
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. Nowadays, owning a
home
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is a very essential requirement for all levels
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people
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of people
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, whether they aren’t well
in
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apply
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financial
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financially
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but owning a
home
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is
one
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of the basic amenities.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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the development of technology, most of the countries are debuting new companies and employment among the public.
Hence
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, the real estate business is developing daily in urban areas. If
people
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start to buy their own residents the country’s economy
as well as
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the real estate business will increase tremendously. To illustrate, in my country the biggest city is Mumbai,
there
Correct your spelling
where
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most of the
people
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stay in
a rented houses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a rented house
rented houses
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,
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apply
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because the cost of land and
home
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are very high.
Thus
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, they are encountering a lot of problems.
For example
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, the rent of a dormitory is high and the living atmosphere is not beneficial for them.
To conclude
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, at present situation own house is
one
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of the most essential requirements for all level
people
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and it will be safer for them and their offspring.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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vocabulary
Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to avoid repetition, e.g., using 'residence' and 'resident' multiple times.
examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
idea development
Ensure that all ideas are clearly and comprehensively developed, especially in the body paragraphs.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed the task with clear reasons why owning a home is valued and provided your perspective on the situation.
coherence
The overall coherence and logical flow of the essay is good.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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