Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
This
essay is concerned with the substantial earnings
of successful sports
professionals
compared to those in other important professions. In the following paragraphs, I will consider the arguments for why this
disparity in earnings
might be justified as well as
the reasons why it might be considered unfair.
One argument in favor
of the significant amount of money earned by Change the spelling
favour
sports
professionals
is that these individuals have unique talents or rare abilities that most people do not have. For instance
, the success of top athletes brings prestige and worldwide attention to their country. When they become famous, they can earn a lot of money as well-known personalities. Therefore
, many opportunities are waiting for them, such
as sponsorships and other commercial opportunities, further
contributing to their substantial earnings
Taking Thailand
as an example, sports
professionals
like Ratchanok Intanon, a world-renowned badminton player, demonstrate how exceptional talent can lead to significant earnings
. Ratchanok’s achievements on the international stage have brought considerable attention and pride to Thailand
. Her success has led to full of sponsorship deals with major brands, appearances in advertisements, and opportunities to endorse products. Such
commercial ventures significantly boost her income beyond what she earns from tournament winnings alone.
On the other hand
, this
disparity in earnings
might be considered unfair when compared to other important professions, such
as healthcare workers, teachers, and public servants. These professionals
contribute significantly to society, often working under challenging conditions and with limited financial rewards. For example
, doctors and nurses in Thailand
, who play a crucial role in maintaining public health, typically do not receive compensation anywhere near that of top athletes, despite the importance of their work.
In conclusion, it is fair that sports
stars like Thailand
's Ratchanok Intanon earn well for their unique skills. In
the other hand, it is unfair that essential employees like healthcare Change preposition
On
professionals
and teachers that
do not receive the same. I believe they should be paid better to recognize their vital roles in society.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by p.thongketkaew on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete and clear response to the task. However, it would benefit from a more detailed analysis of the arguments against the disparity in earnings to balance the discussion more evenly.
coherence cohesion
The organizational structure of your essay is strong, with clear transitions between paragraphs. However, try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence further.
task achievement
Offering more specific examples and evidence for both sides of the argument would strengthen your point. For instance, mentioning specific statistics or studies about earnings disparities in other essential professions could provide a more rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have used a specific and relevant example, such as Ratchanok Intanon, to support one of your main points, making your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.