In many countries, students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. Why is that the case? What could be done to tackle the issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is a common issue for youngsters all over the world, how they can manage their expenses. Several factors can be the reason for
this
, however
, some solutions have existed for this
problem too. I will address them in this
essay.
There are several reasons why young people are not able to plan for their financial resources, firstly
, the educational system is involved in this
problem, and they do not provide enough knowledge about finance, however
, initial information could be beneficial for students. For example
, schools can implement some courses relevant to spending money on discipline. Secondly
, I believe that parents have a vital role in teaching children about these stuff
. They should give sufficient information to their kids. Change the determiner
this stuff
Finally
, the other major fact is that new technologies and various social media affect the young generation negatively. It encourages them to have more than their needs and this
approach leads them to lose their money.
On the other hand
, this
behaviour can certainly be improved. It would start with an appropriate schedule for teaching them by boosting their cognitive skills. Parents should be aware of this
condition and help the next generation to overcome this
issue. They are able to search about it also
read about how they can nurture them with a better pattern. Correct word choice
and also
Additionally
, it is a significant item that how much time they have for screening and searching on the net. there should be some limitations to this
usage, I think adults and teachers are responsible for banning them from these new habits.
In conclusion, a huge number of our young generation are struggling with financial management while
there are lot
of solutions to tackle it and Correct article usage
a lot
finally
solve it. By implementing new strategies it would not be a problem in the future.Submitted by ostorr7213 on
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task achievement
The essay should provide more concrete examples and details to support the main points. Without pertinent examples, the arguments presented may seem less convincing and developed.
task achievement
Try to make the ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Elaboration on how these solutions can be implemented practically would strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from more effective transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Consider to elaborate on the points about how parents and technology impact financial management skills. More detailed explanations can help in building better cohesion.
task achievement
The introductory paragraph clearly outlines the intention to address reasons and solutions concerning financial management issues among young people.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
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