Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals say that young adults have to
study
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
at school until they graduate. This
essay totally agrees with this
statement because it is easy to learn new things in
Change preposition
at
younger
age, and Correct article usage
a younger
this
will help their brains to develop fastly
.
The Rephrase
fast
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
education help
young students to learn different things like Change the verb form
helps
mathmatics
, art , and music. If they understand these courses, they will have more Correct your spelling
mathematics
jobs
offers than other adults, because they will be ready to Change the noun form
job
study
at universities or apply to
any jobs. Change preposition
for
For example
, a recent survey found that a higher number of individuals who accept
at Wrong verb form
were accepted
collage
Correct your spelling
college
they
had Correct pronoun usage
apply
full
Correct word choice
full-time
time
at school while
the least number for
others Change preposition
of
who
studied only Correct pronoun usage
apply
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
.
Young individuals who learn different objects their barins
developing fastly, because Correct your spelling
brains
barns
brain's
cells Correct article usage
the brain's
developing
faster by solving problems and Wrong verb form
develop
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
new
Add an article
a new
language
, Fix the agreement mistake
languages
this
makes thier
thinking skills and communication better. Correct your spelling
their
Moreover
, also
their memory get
longer Change the verb form
gets
with out
Correct your spelling
without
and
disease . Correct word choice
apply
For example
, there is a study
shows persons
who know many Replace the word
people
language
can talk with foreign people and get new Change to a plural noun
languages
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
experinces
easily
In conclusion, it is Correct your spelling
experiences
an
important to let young adult Change the article
apply
study
full time
because this
will improve their skills and help them to choose their right ways. It is recommended that governments should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to increase people
awareness about how it is Change noun form
people's
an
important the Correct article usage
apply
eduaction
for young Correct your spelling
education
adult
and each family has a Fix the agreement mistake
adults
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
this
.Submitted by saja.alotaibi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and not just briefly mentioned. For example, in the first paragraph, while you discuss the benefits of learning subjects like mathematics, art, and music, you can add more depth by explaining how these subjects practically benefit young people in real work scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Check your work for grammatical errors such as verb agreement and spelling mistakes. For instance, 'barins' should be 'brains' and 'fastly' should be 'quickly.'
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to improve the overall readability of your essay. Using a mix of short and long sentences can make your writing more engaging.
introduction conclusion present
You present a clear introduction that outlines your stance and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
relevant specific examples
The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate your points, like the mention of a survey and studies related to brain development.
complete response
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt directly, which is crucial for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!