Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many individuals say that young adults have to
study
full
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full-time
show examples
time
at school until they graduate.
This
essay totally agrees with
this
statement because it is easy to learn new things
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
age, and
this
will help their brains to develop
fastly
Rephrase
fast
show examples
. The
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
young students to learn different things like
mathmatics
Correct your spelling
mathematics
, art , and music. If they understand these courses, they will have more
jobs
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job
show examples
offers than other adults, because they will be ready to
study
at universities or apply
to
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for
show examples
any jobs.
For example
, a recent survey found that a higher number of individuals who
accept
Wrong verb form
were accepted
show examples
at
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had
full
Correct word choice
full-time
show examples
time
at school
while
the least number
for
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of
show examples
others
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
studied only
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
. Young individuals who learn different objects their
barins
Correct your spelling
brains
barns
developing fastly, because
brain's
Correct article usage
the brain's
show examples
cells
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
faster by solving problems and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
,
this
makes
thier
Correct your spelling
their
thinking skills and communication better.
Moreover
,
also
their memory
get
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gets
show examples
longer
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
disease .
For example
, there is a
study
shows
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
who know many
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
can talk with foreign people and get new
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
experinces
Correct your spelling
experiences
easily In conclusion, it is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
important to let young adult
study
full
time
because
this
will improve their skills and help them to choose their right ways. It is recommended that governments should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to increase
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
awareness about how it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important the
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
for young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
and each family has a
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and not just briefly mentioned. For example, in the first paragraph, while you discuss the benefits of learning subjects like mathematics, art, and music, you can add more depth by explaining how these subjects practically benefit young people in real work scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Check your work for grammatical errors such as verb agreement and spelling mistakes. For instance, 'barins' should be 'brains' and 'fastly' should be 'quickly.'
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to improve the overall readability of your essay. Using a mix of short and long sentences can make your writing more engaging.
introduction conclusion present
You present a clear introduction that outlines your stance and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
relevant specific examples
The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate your points, like the mention of a survey and studies related to brain development.
complete response
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt directly, which is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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