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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many educational institues are offering online courses. Do the advantages of this form of education outweigh the disadvantages.

#institues #courses #form #education
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With the development of technology, a number of educational departments are using online
courses
 to teach
students
.
While
 there are some benefits associated with expanding knowledge by offering online
courses
, I believe the main drawbacks are more sustainable. On the one hand, a potential advantage of utilizing distance learning
courses
 may be saving time in a busy life. There are lots of people who would like to participate in a variety of classes in order to find their talent or learn new things.
However
, they do not have enough time to take part in e-classes.
For instance
, a doctor should take care of their patients every day without having a nine-to-five job,
this
 is the best way to achieve their dreams by taking part in digital
courses
 anytime and anywhere. A
further
 perceived benefit is a decrease in traffic , especially during a harsh hour. People can stay in their homes and present in their virtual
courses
 without going out to make a crowded street which
also
 are able to damage the environment and pollute the weather.
On the other hand
, a primary disadvantage of web-based
courses
 is superficial communication with others. When
students
 use online
courses
 in the university or school, they cannot use the contact to communicate with each other so it can negatively affect their interpersonal skills when they are in a special ceremony.
For example
, when the coronavirus appeared in the world all educational institutes used online
courses
 for
students
 for about 4 years. After that, most
students
 are unable to communicate with their teachers or other people in the present classes. A
further
 negative is that
,
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 it can affect individuals’ knowledge. Most teachers cannot explain their means as e-classes and
also
 they are not dominant in their
students
thus
. In business, when teachers take an exam an online
students
 can use their book to answer their questions so it cannot improve their information about a special subject. On balance, it is true that offering online
courses
 would seem advantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, it is negative effects in terms of declining communication and knowledge override disadvantages.
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are presented more clearly and in a logical sequence to maximize clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well, presenting both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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