It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some claim that taking

risks

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should be an essential part of

people

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's both professional and personal lives. Despite certain drawbacks, I am more of the opinion that advantages surpass their disadvantages. It is undeniable that we are all surrounded with various

risks

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in all aspects of our lives. There are certain hazards that might seem appealing to take,

however

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, there is a high probability that you might lose almost everything you currently possess. Sometimes by being irrational at the moment,

people

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might dare to give a chance to those

risks

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that might have adverse outcomes which might lead them to sacrifice all their efforts and hard work.

For example

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, having higher positions in the management of companies

also

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means that you have to make big decisions that might result in negative consequences.

This

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can not only damage the reputation of both

company

Correct article usage

the company

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and you

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apply

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but

also

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make them lose immense amounts of money.

However

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people

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cannot improve both personally and professionally without being vulnerable to

risks

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. Those uncertainties always teach

people

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valuable lessons, even though they do not end well. There are always some takeaways from those negative outcomes that make you wiser and more experienced.

In addition

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, sometimes

risks

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equal to new challenges and opportunities to take advantage of. Encountering those hazards does not imply that

this

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will result in having detrimental effects.

For example

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, as an employee, quitting your job and starting your own business is quite a challenging and perilous

endeavor

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endeavour

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to take.

However

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, there is

also

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a chance that your company will be one of the largest businesses in the world's economy.

To conclude

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, even though

this

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trend has certain negative effects on

people

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's lives, I believe that the positive impacts will outweigh the drawbacks since it makes

people

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more qualified and provides them with incredibly huge opportunities.

Submitted by Narmin on Sun Jun 23 2024

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task achievement

To achieve an even higher score, consider elaborating more on both sides of the argument. While your essay leans towards the advantages of taking risks, dedicating more detail to the disadvantages would show a balanced evaluation.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Though your essay has good cohesion overall, working on the transitions between points can enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states the main argument and sets the tone for the essay.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing specific examples to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

. Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice

It is important for travellers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly, what are the main advantages of doing so? what do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so?