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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks
Some claim that taking
risks
 should be an essential part of
people
's both professional and personal lives. Despite certain drawbacks, I am more of the opinion that advantages surpass their disadvantages. It is undeniable that we are all surrounded with various
risks
 in all aspects of our lives. There are certain hazards that might seem appealing to take,
however
, there is a high probability that you might lose almost everything you currently possess. Sometimes by being irrational at the moment,
people
 might dare to give a chance to those
risks
 that might have adverse outcomes which might lead them to sacrifice all their efforts and hard work.
For example
, having higher positions in the management of companies
also
 means that you have to make big decisions that might result in negative consequences.
This
 can not only damage the reputation of both
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 and you
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 make them lose immense amounts of money.
However
,
people
 cannot improve both personally and professionally without being vulnerable to
risks
. Those uncertainties always teach
people
 valuable lessons, even though they do not end well. There are always some takeaways from those negative outcomes that make you wiser and more experienced.
In addition
, sometimes
risks
 equal to new challenges and opportunities to take advantage of. Encountering those hazards does not imply that
this
 will result in having detrimental effects.
For example
, as an employee, quitting your job and starting your own business is quite a challenging and perilous
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 to take.
However
, there is
also
 a chance that your company will be one of the largest businesses in the world's economy.
To conclude
, even though
this
 trend has certain negative effects on
people
's lives, I believe that the positive impacts will outweigh the drawbacks since it makes
people
 more qualified and provides them with incredibly huge opportunities.
Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on

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task achievement
To achieve an even higher score, consider elaborating more on both sides of the argument. While your essay leans towards the advantages of taking risks, dedicating more detail to the disadvantages would show a balanced evaluation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Though your essay has good cohesion overall, working on the transitions between points can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the main argument and sets the tone for the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing specific examples to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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