The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

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In the olden days,

people

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were used to doing more physical work and keeping themselves healthy. In the future

people

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's health is going to lower levels

due to

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the lack of exercise and working online from their homes. I totally agree with

this

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notion because

due to

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individuals' busy schedules, they will spend more time in sitting chairs and working with the technologies. The main

reason

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is that

people

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are busy with their work because they are working from home and have less movement of their bodies.

For example

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, during COVID-19 employees started work from flats and they suffered from obesity and anxiety. Another factor is that online facilities are available in

this

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modern era and it has become easy for

people

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to order from their digital devices and get food and other things at their doorsteps, like Uber Eats, Amazon and many more online websites supplying goods to their clients.

Furthermore

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, the primary

reason

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is that a number of kids and adults spend time watching television and using social media platforms, where they waste more time without any

reason

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and become grumpy and violent,

as a consequence

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people

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are involved in crimes and fighting without any

reason

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In addition

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, the cheap prices of fast foods and online sale products, so

people

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are attracted towards these trajectories and promotions. In conclusion,

due to

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this

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trend of working from home and online attractive sales,

people

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are going to be less health conscious. In my opinion,

people

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must join face-to-face workplaces, where they can do movements and save themselves from major diseases. I had obesity and anxiety issues when COVID-19 came and paid lots of money to doctors.

Submitted by rbtech65 on Mon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focuses on a single main idea to improve cohesion. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas can be smoother to maintain logical flow.

task achievement

Expand on the relevant specific examples provided. Give more detailed examples and ensure they directly support the argument being made. Specific statistics or studies can strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well. The opinion is evident and consistently maintained throughout the essay.

task achievement

The task response is comprehensive, addressing different aspects of the statement. The essay's contention that future health standards may decline due to physical inactivity and increased reliance on technology is supported by reasonable arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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Fully explain your ideas

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

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