In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you thunk the advantages of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, many citizens had their own smartphones, which caused an argument

due to

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their usage.

This

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writer believes that the benefits of searching for

information

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and forming relationships between

people

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outweigh the disadvantages relating to health. Starting with the advantages,

it is clear that

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using mobile

phones

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makes life a lot more convenient.

For example

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, it is possible to contact friends, colleagues and family in just a few seconds at any time of the day or from any location.

Also

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, mobile

phones

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can be used to access a wide variety of data applications

such

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as Camille and social networking sites

such

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as Twitter or Facebook.

This

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is a benefit because

people

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are able to interact online at all times.

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Finally

Add a comma

Finally,

show examples

mobile

phones

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give security and peace of mind to parents who are able to contact their children easily. Exploring knowledge is

also

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considered. The Internet is a lived encyclopedia, individuals find out all the

information

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by searching on it. Take students for an example, they can know more about any categories and the methods of calculation if they use Google or Microsoft Edge and

then

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easily get the

information

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to present or to gain their study.

Therefore

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, technological devices, specifically smartphones, bring humans to achieve the pinnacle of knowledge.

On the other

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hand

Add a comma

hand,

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many

people

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believe that there are some clear disadvantages.

Firstly

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, mobiles can make

people

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anti-social as they spend more time looking at their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

than at each other.

Moreover

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, many

people

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can become addicted to using smartphone apps, and

this

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can have an effect on their mental and physical health

such

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as their eyesight. It can

also

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affect young

people

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whose studies or work may be affected by

over use

Correct your spelling

overuse

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of their

phones

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. Taking all into consideration, the benefits of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages of health problems because of its vast sources of

information

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and connection.

Hence

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people

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should take advantage of smartphones as much as possible, but not overuse them.

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is sound with a clear introduction, body and conclusion. However, further enhancement of transitional phrases and coherent paragraphing could improve the overall flow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively encapsulate the main argument, which is excellent. Ensure that your conclusion summarizes all your points without introducing new ideas for best practices.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported; to strengthen your essay further, consider expanding on each point with more detailed examples and avoid general statements.

task achievement

You provided a complete response to the task, presenting a clear position throughout your essay. Continue to focus on directly answering the question prompt to maintain task achievement.

task achievement

The essay displays clear and comprehensive ideas. To advance your score, aim for more depth and complexity in your arguments.

task achievement

Examples provided are relevant; however, for a higher band score, you should offer a variety of specific and detailed examples to support each point fully.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

328 words

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In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you thunk the advantages of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people say that all popular TV programs should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Student learn far more with their teachers than other sources (the Internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.