IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way to make roads safer is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#roads #vehicle #drivers #test #year
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Making
drivers
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 take a driving test every year is the best method to safeguard
roads
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. I partially agree with
this
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 statement as testing
drivers
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 can keep their driving skills stable,
although
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 there are other ways to mitigate
roads
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. Testing
drivers
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 annually helps keep
roads
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 safe since it helps them not to forget to drive
as well as
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 to keep in touch with new
rules
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 in the transport system.
For example
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, in some Asian countries,
this
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 process has already been being practised since 2018 and has shown good results. The statistics show that there were more car accidents up to 2018.
For
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this
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 reason, a driving test is the key method to make
roads
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 safe.
However
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,
roads
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 can be secured by other methods, namely the increasing amount of fines. Because, when the fine is high,
drivers
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 be will afraid of violating traffic
rules
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,
for instance
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, It is proved by the Singapore government. In Singapore, car
drivers
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 pay for road traffic infringements of at least 5,000 dollars for minor violations.
As a result
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, Singapore is in the first place for compliance with traffic
rules
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.
Hence
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, there will not be nearly as many accidents if the penalties for breaking the
rules
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 are severe.
To sum up
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,
although
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 passing a driving test is still the key way of making
roads
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 safer, it is recommended to consider other methods
such
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 as increasing the fine. By considering other ways, and
moreover
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 combining all these methods, the quality of the transport system will reach a new level.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea or point. While the current essay does well in creating paragraphs, the main ideas can be more sharply defined. Additionally, work on strengthening the topic sentences to clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific supporting details and examples to bolster your points. For instance, instead of generally stating that some Asian countries have shown good results since 2018, you could provide specific statistics or developments witnessed in those countries. This will enhance the argument's credibility.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-organized structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The writer approaches the topic from multiple perspectives, acknowledging that there are other ways to ensure road safety besides annual driving tests. This balance adds depth to the discussion.
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