Many people think that public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their money on expensive hi-tech media, such as software, DVDs or videos. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #libraries #books #waste #money #media #software #dvds #videos

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Now-a-days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

famous people like

Correct article usage

apply

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film

star

Fix the agreement mistake

stars

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

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does

Verb problem

apply

show examples

play an important role, not only in their respective

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

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but

also

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influencing society. Being a famous

person

does come with

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

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, but they are

inter-linked

Correct your spelling

interlinked

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with the challenges. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

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I will discuss the benefits they enjoy and the challenges they tackle.

First,

due to

their achievement in their

career

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career,

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they earn lots of prosperity and respect in

the

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apply

show examples

society, cause of which

the

Correct your spelling

they

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earn advertisement endorsements to influence people about the product. That means even after they retire, they have a steady source of income. It helps famous

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

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to maintain their standards using rich products. One best example

about

Change preposition

show examples

a retired

sports

Correct your spelling

sportsperson

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person

like MS Dhoni, he still works in television advertisements, gets invited as a chief guest for various programs and works as a mentor for

new

Add an article

a new

the new

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generation.

This

is one of the benefits of being an important personality. Now, the downsides aren’t

much

Rephrase

very

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serious, but

Correct pronoun usage

they

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includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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privacy. Celebrities find it hard to have

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apply

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personal time when they are at work or

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vacation.

Due to

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

they need to have bodyguards around to protect them and their loved ones.

For instance

, If I see Christiano Ronaldo the football star on the street, I will rush towards him to take pictures and borrow his time. Just imagine, how quickly he will have to escape from there. He would never get his own space which is a challenging part when it comes to being a famous

person

Finally

, I would agree that being a famous

person

there are more benefits.

Submitted by shahpmanan on Mon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate on the conclusion to summarize your key points more effectively and offer a final take on the overall topic.

task achievement

Avoid minor grammatical mistakes such as 'cause' instead of 'because' and ensure subject-verb agreement.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between points. For example, using transitional phrases can help tie ideas together better.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and sophisticated.

task achievement

The essay presents relevant examples, such as mentioning MS Dhoni and Cristiano Ronaldo, which effectively illustrate the points being discussed.

task achievement

The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic and presents both benefits and challenges faced by famous people, adhering to the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure, including introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is evident, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay stays on topic throughout, providing a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Many people think that public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their money on expensive hi-tech media, such as software, DVDs or videos. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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