In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Nowadays,
people
tend to have accommodation on their own rather than renting one and Use synonyms
this
matter has grown in importance in a growing number of countries. In my opinion, there are many reasons which can lead to Linking Words
this
matter, I am Linking Words
also
convinced that Linking Words
this
might have some negative effects on Linking Words
people
in the long run.
It is my view that many societies are putting pressure on Use synonyms
people
to have a Use synonyms
home
on their own and Use synonyms
people
believe their ownership of a property like a Use synonyms
home
, indicates their wealth which is really important for them. Use synonyms
Moreover
, another potential reason can be that many landlords do not come to terms with tenants which can complex the situation for Linking Words
people
who do not have a house on their own. Use synonyms
For instance
, rents are sometimes too expensive and unaffordable for tenants to pay which results in many mental problems for the Linking Words
people
and may cause them to change their homes several times a year which is very demanding for individuals. Use synonyms
Thus
, owning a Linking Words
home
might be a better choice for a vast number of Use synonyms
people
.
I Use synonyms
further
believe that Linking Words
this
matter might affect Linking Words
people
adversely in certain circumstances. It is an undeniable fact that purchasing a Use synonyms
home
is not an easy thing to do and only the Use synonyms
people
with high salaries can afford that. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
who are not wealthy enough to have accommodation on their own may experience intolerable pressure from their family or their close relatives. Use synonyms
For example
, there are always expectations from the breadwinners to provide their families with a decent Linking Words
home
which may be impossible for many Use synonyms
people
these days. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
people
may experience many mental difficulties.
In conclusion, there are some problems in many cultures that force Use synonyms
people
to think about buying a Use synonyms
home
which is not possible for everyone. Use synonyms
Consequently
, poor Linking Words
people
who are unable to purchase a Use synonyms
home
are more likely to suffer from health problems.Use synonyms
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task achievement
While the essay generally responds to the task well, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the reasons why owning a home is important in some cultures. Consider adding more varied examples and perspectives to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
There are occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that detract from the clarity of your ideas. Pay attention to sentence structure and verb tenses for a more polished and coherent response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively.
task achievement
The reasons provided for why owning a home is important are relevant and add depth to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow from one paragraph to the next, making it easy to follow the writer's line of thought.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.