Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

#people #children #tv #home #school

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Nowadays, kids are easy to catch something on television (

Use synonyms

)

due to

Linking Words

it illustrates something in a clear form. The majority of people agree that

this

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technology is essential for their children's learning process so they believe the use of it at school, not only at home, is

also

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needed;

while

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others stand on the opposite opinion. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement since it would impact the function of their eyes. On the one hand, the use of

Use synonyms

in school would make the way of teaching more interesting to learn. Since the visualisation of

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is good, pupils would find it easier to imagine the real form of something that has been taught before.

Moreover

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, it would

also

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increase a student's curiosity as it seems more attractive to them.

For example

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, science students would know the real process of DNA making, without observing it directly themselves, by watching the simulation of it on a big screen.

On the other hand

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, the use of

this

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tool impacts students' lives

such

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as making them addicted to screen time and might attack their eye abilities. Children would be more aggressive and hard to control their emotions if they had overtime to watch.

For instance

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, pupils always push teachers to give them a lesson to watch as they think listening to statements is a boring method.

Furthermore

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, the more time to look at the

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, the more possibility that eye illness will attack kids.

This

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machine has been spread radiation that can be harmful for visibility. In fact, the number of young generations who wear glasses is always increasing. In conclusion, watching

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is a fun learning method that can be taught to schoolchild, but it

also

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might have bad impacts on their visibility abilities.

Hence

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, I disagree with having

this

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at school because it would make them too rely on the screen which is not good for their eyes.

Submitted by nirmalindah on Mon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

Ensure complete and clear explanation of all points made. For instance, you briefly mentioned that TV can make learning more interesting and increase curiosity, but you could have provided more details or examples to solidify this point.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to make your essay more cohesive. Your essay is generally well structured, but a few more transitional phrases or sentences would improve the flow.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and statistics to better support your main points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and well-rounded.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs, which aids in understanding the main points.

task achievement

Your main points are supported with relevant examples, making the essay more compelling and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

You provided a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using TV for children's learning.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

source of distraction
educational content
entertainment shows
advertisements
inappropriate content
hinders learning
interactive learning opportunities
traditional classroom settings
one-way medium
individual learning needs
prolonged screen time
negative health effects
eye strain
poor posture
lack of physical activity
overall development
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
interactive, hands-on activities
passive television watching
participatory forms of learning
group projects
experiments
real-world problem solving
cognitive abilities
social skills

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Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

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