More people are shopping online today than ever before. Why do people choose to shop this way? Are there any disadvantages to shopping online?

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From my perspective, most of the people in the past chose the traditional ways of shopping all the
time
.
This
was mainly because the world in the old days hadn’t been developing as
also
online shopping wasn’t common. But nowadays, we are living in an era with a fast pace of life, which means that the world is constantly improving day by day as people’s demands increase.
Hence
, the methods of shopping are separated widely very rapidly and
also
become familiar in the majority of the countries. At first glance, among the abundant number of shopping methods, the fastest way of shopping and offering residents more selections at once would be the interconnected stores. Thanks to online shops, each individual can have countless advantages as they usually have too many irons in the fire.
In other words
, they can carry out their shopping trips without commuting to the stores or losing their bread and butter. All they need to do is
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remain at their accommodation and enable their smart devices to utilize the shopping apps for related purposes
such
as including Lazada, Amazon, and Shoppe,… In brief, web-based shopping trips are convenient weapons with people who don’t have
time
to spare. On second thought, in practice, every coin has two sides and online shopping is no exception with its negative side. When we discuss the disadvantages of online shopping, I will not forget to mention the return policy items. The principle of refund is not clear. Each
time
when you hope to return or refund your goods, it is not easy as the return policy is extremely complex.
As a result
, you must wait for plenty of
time
.
Besides
, the issue of quality which item you ordered in the one perhaps the business of that store gives you incorrect quality as me. In brief, I inferred that problem, I suppose the government ought to transform the policy of shopping online and establish the benefits for every user to keep up with proclivity toward the modernization.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points raised and examples provided are clearly explained and directly related to the question prompt. For instance, the mention of specific shopping apps like Lazada, Amazon, and Shoppe could benefit from illustrating their specific advantages more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on logically structuring your paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally discuss a single, clear idea related to the prompt, to avoid confusion. For example, the second paragraph could more clearly separate the advantages of online shopping from the general trend of increased use.
coherence and cohesion
Although your conclusion summarises your essay well, consider making your final sentence more definitive and concise. Avoid combining multiple ideas into a single conclusion, such as discussing both the role of government and the general trend towards modernization.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier for readers to follow the argument. This helps in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
The response effectively addresses both parts of the task, discussing why people shop online and mentioning the disadvantages associated with it.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some reasons for the popularity of online shopping, such as convenience and time-saving, are well-explained, aligning with the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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