Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The development of a country is directly linked to its economic management.
Therefore
, many governors argue that their main target should be related to the aforementioned field. Nevertheless
, I staunchly believe that there are many other attributes to be taken into account such
as culture, education, and environment in order
to stimulate integral growth. In this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To start with, it is well-known that the appropriate distribution of monetary resources is vital in order
to maintain a cost-effectiveness balance in the population. This
means that governments must carefully regulate how, when, and where the money is being spent. It depends on the specific needs that a country has as well as
the fields where the governments should be focused on. Otherwise
, if there is no proper regulation, the population will suffer from scarcity and poverty. This
is exemplified by the current situation that people from Argentina are facing where the currency has plummeted by more than 200%, and consequently
, the population lacks food, households and public services.
Conversely
, it is necessary to consider a country as a bunch of fields that have to be equally focused on in order
to implement integral strategies that will lead to massive development. Therefore
, avoiding inequality by raising all branches or fields proportionally. For instance
, governments must properly manage all resources to maintain public health by doing campaigns to prevent diseases and promote health, security to drop dramatically the rate of crimes, culture to establish sense
of belonging, and employment to ensure fair opportunities in humankind.
Add an article
a sense
To sum up
, the financial field is one of the most important to be considered by politicians and it has to be carefully regulated, nonetheless
, many others should be managed appropriately in order
to make a balance by facing all political issues in parallel.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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task achievement
The essay is strong in many areas but could benefit from slight improvements in the clarity and precision of language. For example, the use of the phrase 'a bunch of fields' in the second body paragraph might be considered informal. It would be more appropriate to use 'various sectors' or 'different aspects.'
task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples provided to make the arguments even more compelling. The example of Argentina is effective, but additional specifics about other countries or situations could enhance your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Your essay is well-organized, but explicit transitional phrases could better guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction is effective and clearly states what will be discussed in the essay. This sets a strong foundation for the rest of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates your position, which provides a satisfying closure to your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively used specific examples, such as the situation in Argentina, to support your main points. This adds depth and relevance to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea, which adds clarity and coherence to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.