Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words
In
this
contemporary epoch, a certain number of people believe that learners should be encouraged to have more homework to keep them busy because they get a lot of free time
that they waste usually. This
essay will delve into the various ways in which scholar can utilize their leisure time
in most
effective manner.
Correct article usage
the most
To begin
with, the most
primary activity that students can do in their free Fix the agreement mistake
apply
time
is they can
revise their school Verb problem
apply
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
that
could be helpful for them to score better grades. The revision can help them to understand the facts in Correct pronoun usage
which
much
better manner. Add an article
a much
Furthermore
, leisure time
can also
be used by children to find out about their hidden talents. Every kid is not talented from birth, some requires
motivation in their life to find Change the verb form
require
Change preposition
out about
about
their hidden qualities.
Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, it is not beneficial to pressurized
the juveniles to Wrong verb form
pressurise
study
all the time
because some
Replace the word
sometimes
time
they need mental satisfaction along with
some physical exercise. Therefore
, permitting them to play the sports such
as football, basketball, or hockey could help to boost their body. Moreover
, in the
free Change the word
their
time
kids can be Add a comma
time,
promoted
to try Verb problem
encouraged
the
indoor games like chess and abacas Correct article usage
apply
that
will help in mental growth in Correct pronoun usage
which
better
manner. Both of these games provide kidsAdd an article
a better
a
different scenario to understand some Add the preposition
with a
study
materials.
To conclude
, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it is not always essential to stress
them to Verb problem
encourage
study
only unless their free time
could be used in better
way by some physical activities or some indoor sports. It is not always required to Add an article
a better
study
books to boost their mind.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
For task response, ensure to clearly expand on each main point and provide specific, relevant examples. This helps to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases to make the progression of ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Review your writing for consistency and clarity. This will help in making your essay more polished and professional.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay well.
task achievement
You covered several valid points about how children can utilize their free time effectively, addressing the task prompt comprehensively.
task achievement
The essay contains a variety of ideas, indicating a good understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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