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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions #fiver
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In
this
 modern world, several communities think the main purpose of school is to make individuals help families and other populations say qualifications can help them achieve personal ambitions. I would like to explain and discuss both views on
this
 topic. I believe that someone who has studied class will have a great opportunity to develop skills. In my opinion, culture is extremely important for a lot of society in life and can give them the best career in the future. On the one hand, there are some societies more prefer information for many reasons namely, I think that now to continue college is a good thing.
this
 can help them in a better life.
However
, school is a training which is good enough.
while
 other communities say that studying in school makes individuals become responsible and get a lot of knowledge.
On the other hand
, a significant in completed problem. I was studying at the university to get a certificate of graduation to apply for a job in the best company. I hope to have many skills easily to get the best job positions.
Furthermore
, all have value to the person which can have great effect, scholarship to make someone good attitude and many knowledge lessons. In conclusion, learning is a course that makes the community more great. I believe that all of it will have a good effect and great opportunity in the future which is must have more skills.
although
, some impact has good life research in system review.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
The essay's main points need more support with relevant specific examples to better illustrate the arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically to improve the flow of the essay. Clarify the main points and make sure each paragraph has a clear focus.
task achievement
Include clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to develop your arguments more fully instead of making broad or vague statements.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints as required by the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to structure the overall piece.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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