You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some hlep. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, give details of your study plans explan why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Arun, Hi,I hope you are doing well and everything is good for you.I writing
letter to you about my study plans. Recently my Master's application was approved by a university in Australia. so I have come to Sydney and stay
Correct article usage
a six-month
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course period.
accommodation, I am applying Online.
expensive. Already you know about my family I don't want to disturb them for money,I want to get a part-time job, after my everyday study hours. I got some dollars from
Remove the comma
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and promised to use my expenses
on the study period.
, I need your help seeking a vacancy for my skills,
As well as
you know my father still running a small restaurant in my home town . I
have experience in
field.I got some knowledge from my brother super market stock control, verifying incoming and outgoing goods etc... I shall wait for your response and I believe you could care in
matter. best regards, Tharun.
Submitted by venkatlinga81 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea. The letter mixes accommodation details with reasons for wanting a job, which should be separated.
Task Achievement
Develop each idea fully before moving on to the next. The explanations for wanting a part-time job and the types of jobs sought could be more detailed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
Task Achievement
Check for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can improve the quality of writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Sign off with a suitable closing that matches the tone of your letter. 'I shall wait for your response' could be rephrased to 'Looking forward to hearing from you soon.'

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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