Nowadays, there is a trend that reports in the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. Dương.

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Reporting problems and emergency situations has become mainstream in recent years which is thought to
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative effects on our community by some individuals. From my point of view, I partly disagree with that notion and the paragraphs below will explain my opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons for broadcasting bad
news
and one of the most significant ones is that it can raise awareness in society.
For instance
, media platforms demonstrate the appearance of COVID-19, so that
people
will have information about the dangerous virus which leads to useful solutions to prevent the deadly disease.
Moreover
, if the information stations broadcast the dark of life,
people
will have some beneficial details about the evils and the crimes around them.
As a result
, the citizen will develop their vigilance.
On the other hand
, spreading information about beneficial developments can bring them happiness and trust. It can be seen in reality that if the media broadcasts
news
about the effective treatment against
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
, the
people
will believe in scientists and the government.
Therefore
, they will get the determination to defeat the deadly virus.
Additionally
, residents will be motivated to be successful if they know about millionaires through media,
such
as
news
stations, and newspapers. All in all, there are some
people
who think reporting
news
that focuses on serious issues and social problems may contribute to plenty of disadvantages to the community. In my opinion, I partially disagree with that view because it helps boost the awareness of the citizen which
also
plays a vital role in motivating
people
and bringing happiness to society.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from stronger topic sentences. Make sure each paragraph clearly introduces the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph should start with a sentence that clearly states that you're discussing the benefits of broadcasting bad news.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are quite complex and could be broken down to increase clarity. For instance, 'For instance, media platforms demonstrate the appearance of COVID-19...' could be split into simpler sentences for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion briefly summarizes the main points discussed in the body paragraphs and restates your partial disagreement with the initial statement.
task achievement
Your essay includes both sides of the argument, offering a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You've used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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