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Band 4.5

Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#

#people #person #company #money #reason #motivation
n
Correct your spelling
In
 my opinion, to agree or disagree with the
statement
 that Some people consider that there are various effects that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company
whereas
 others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. is an important issue to discuss.
First,
I will present some arguments supporting
this
statement
, after which, some aspects against that will be discussed. On the one hand, many people agree with
this
statement
 for many important reasons. The most significant is that The reason why an individual would stay for a long period of
time
 could be because of their family commitments.
For example
, if a woman is married and has kids and
also
 already bought a house in a particular area might prefer to stay in the same job as long as possible because she needs a stable job to secure her family life. Not only that, for a woman, distance is very important because she might need to attend to her kids as soon as possible at any
time
 of the day. The nearer the company is to her home, the more likely she will stick to that same working place for a very long
time
.
On the other hand
, other people oppose
this
statement
 for many reasons. The most important is
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 for
Long
Change the article
a Long
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time
 that effect
to
Change preposition
apply
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health and
consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
show examples
 fatigued
physical
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physically
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for example
 if
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 person
worke
Correct your spelling
works
Correct article usage
a longe
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longe
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
time
for example
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 in
morning
Add an article
the morning
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 and
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
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 working
at
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in
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evening
Correct article usage
the evening
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 the physical very tried . In conclusion, it is not wrong to prioritize money to stay in a place but having good mental health and a good working environment is
also
 important.
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general structure
The essay presents a clear structure with distinct introduction and conclusion sections. The introduction outlines what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion sums up the discussion, which is a good practice.
task achievement
The essay provides a specific example to support the argument that family commitments can motivate someone to stay at the same job. This adds credibility to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • career development
  • growth opportunities
  • continuous learning
  • training
  • promotions
  • positive work environment
  • supportive management
  • good relationships
  • colleagues
  • benefits
  • perks
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • flexible working hours
  • company culture
  • values
  • recognition
  • rewards
  • job security
  • stability
  • economic uncertainty
  • employee loyalty
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