IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#development #communication #people #friends
In my opinion to agree or disagree with the allegation that development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. is an important issue to discuss
First,
I will present some arguments supporting
this
 allegation with some aspects against it that will be discussed. On the one hand, many people agree with the description for many significant reasons. The most vital is that everyone now has online technology and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 relationships with others
for example
 if a woman works in the company not stay alone but
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 friends and communicates with E and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 time .
On the other hand
, many humans disagree with the proclamation for many reasons the most
Curial
Correct your spelling
crucial
show examples
 is that waste of time when communicating with others in an instant if the teacher every time
communication
Replace the word
communicates
show examples
 with friends does , not prepare the lesson . In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea supporting
this
 proclamation because its benefits outweigh its drawbacks,
for instance
, is that everyone now has online technology and makes relationships with others.
As well as
 Exchange life experiences.
Leaves
Correct pronoun usage
This leaves
show examples
 me no doubt that agree
Change preposition
with
show examples
communicating with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
not
Correct word choice
and not
show examples
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 alone .
Submitted by almeem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay needs a clearer introduction and thesis statement. The prompt asks if you agree or disagree, but it’s not clear from the beginning where you stand. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This will make your argument more logical and easier to follow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you can discuss specific apps or platforms that facilitate online friendships and how they impact loneliness.
task achievement
You’ve made a commendable effort to discuss both sides of the argument. This balanced view is important in an IELTS essay and shows your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion aligns with your arguments and pulls together your main points, which is essential for a cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical gaps
  • interact
  • social media platforms
  • messaging apps
  • revolutionized
  • physical distance
  • online communities
  • camaraderie
  • immediate surroundings
  • unparalleled opportunities
  • superficial relationships
  • excessive reliance
  • emotional warmth
  • tactile comfort
  • digital communication
  • digital divide
  • internet censorship
  • global connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!