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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give the amount of financial aid that four countries received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below give the amount of financial aid that four countries received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#amount #aid #four #countries #money #information #features #comparisons
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart compares information about the distribution of monetary support in three aspects ,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 the table represents how much money was spent in each country in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 on all sides cash spending decreased during the present years. Many nations dramatically changed the number of the means for these categories.
Firstly
Linking Words
, all sides had downward trends , what’s
more
Add a comma
more,
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 catering had an enormous change from 70
million
Use synonyms
 in 1974 to 15
million
Use synonyms
 in 2014. Medicine where donated more quantity of money went down to second place with almost 60
million
Use synonyms
 . Finance too had a minor decline ,
however
Linking Words
 became the first.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , China and Thailand significantly reduced costs between 1974 and 2014 . China changed it from 62
million
Use synonyms
 to 6
million
Use synonyms
, at the same time
Thailand
Change noun form
Thailand's
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spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 collapsed from 48
million
Use synonyms
till
Change preposition
to
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 18. Meanwhile, South Africa’s financial aid
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 fell from 65 to 42
million
Use synonyms
 . Indonesia reduced the expenditure of money by 25
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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