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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is a kind of sexual discriminations at any company. What are the reasons to this? What kind of solutions can be mentioned?

#discriminations #company
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Sexual
discrimination
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 remains
complex
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a complex
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 challenge in many workplaces. In
this
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 essay, l will discuss a few key reasons why
this
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 form of
discrimination
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 persists and some potential
solutionsI
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solutions
order
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in order
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 to solve it. sexual
discrimination
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 in the workplace is largely driven by unconscious biases and stereotypes that are deeply rooted in cultural and social norms.
For instance
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, in many religious and traditional settings, there is a pervasive belief that
women
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 lack the same competencies and leadership potential as men.
This
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 shapes
women
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's self-perceptions, leading them to internalize a sense of weakness or inferiority. Over generations, these negative self-images become entrenched and perpetuated. The lack of gender diversity in leadership roles can play a significant role in perpetuating sexual
discrimination
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 in the workplace. When the majority of high-level positions are held by men, it can foster a male-dominated company culture that makes it more difficult for
women
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 to advance and achieve their career goals.
This
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 imbalance of power can hinder opportunities for
women
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's professional development and training,
further
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 entrenching gender inequality within the organization. To tackle sexual
discrimination
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 in the workplace, a two-pronged approach is crucial.
First,
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foster greater awareness and understanding among all employees. Implement mandatory
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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 that educate staff on identifying and mitigating unconscious biases, sexual harassment, and other discriminatory
behaviors
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behaviours
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. Encourage open dialogues to challenge gender stereotypes and normalize discussions around diversity and inclusion.
Secondly
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, conduct a comprehensive review of organizational policies and procedures. Scrutinize hiring, promotion, and performance evaluation processes to eliminate any gender-based disparities or unfair practices. Strengthen reporting mechanisms and impose clear consequences for any substantiated claims of sexual
discrimination
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 or misconduct. By addressing both the cultural and institutional barriers, organizations can cultivate a work environment that empowers and supports employees of all genders equally. Sustained commitment at all levels is key to driving meaningful and lasting change. , In conclusion, the issue of sexual
discrimination
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, is a significant challenge that organizations must actively address. By taking a multifaceted approach, companies can make meaningful progress in overcoming
this
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 entrenched problem.
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly separated from the main body paragraphs to improve readability and structure.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or data to support your points. This would strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive discussion of the reasons for sexual discrimination in the workplace and offers potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs that each discuss a specific aspect of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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