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Band 7.5

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
Residents from all over the world have the duty to pay
taxes
 to their own country or state every year.
While
 most of them follow the responsibility, many people have an adverse opinion about
this
 and want to keep all their income. From my perspective, it is vital for each person to pay
taxes
 for the following reasons. First and foremost,
taxes
 are to fund public services including education, healthcare, transportation, law enforcement, and public infrastructure .These services contribute to the well-being and development of society.
For example
, in many nations, students who
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in public schools have no need to pay tuition. Many roads have been reconstructed regularly for the sake of the travel demand of residents.
Secondly
,
this
 amount of money can be used to redistribute wealth.
In other words
, by funding social welfare programs, subsidies, and assistance for those in need, economic inequality can be reduced
as well as
 disadvantaged groups may be supported.
This
also
 contributes to the decline in social crimes
such
 as robbery and theft. Most importantly,
taxes
 support the military and national defence efforts, protecting the country from external threats and ensuring national security. Without
taxes
, the army cannot be maintained.
As a result
, in case a nation is occupied by a bigger one, individuals may lose their own country and their lives may become far more miserable. In conclusion, there are many reasons why people should pay
taxes
.
Thus
, individuals should follow civic duty so that their lives will be better in the future.
Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on

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task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas relevant to the topic. However, consider expanding on certain points with more specific examples to improve your score further.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to maintain strong coherence. Transitional phrases could help link your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, presenting a strong argument for paying taxes.
task achievement
Your response comprehensively addresses the task, presenting a balanced and thoughtful perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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