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Band 7.5

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos, etc.) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

#process #species #e #g #dinosaurs #dodos #reason #people
For some determinists, it is natural to draw the conclusion that we
humans
 should not interfere in those species that are doomed.
Although
this
 opinion manifests the respect for natural laws, I disagree with it for the indifference displayed to
humans
' future. Before setting forth arguments against these determinists, I hope to discuss the reasonable elements in their perspectives, namely the reverence for the order of
nature
. After being shocked by sporadic climate disasters,
such
 as the poisonous mist in London, and the lethal pollution in the Seine, people have come to realize the consequences of excessively exploiting
nature
 and some of them have
subsequently
 maintained that we should step out of the field of the
nature
 and be an observer.
This
 is the historical origin of the determinism in the issue of
extinction
.
Although
 the determinism concerned with
extinction
 is built on the reflection on our past mistakes, it has gone too far to possess an appropriate concern for our common future. It has long been a consensus that the existence of
humans
 largely depends on biodiversity, which, unfortunately, has been under the threat of species disappearance. To illustrate, the inhabitants living in Nauru have suffered from the rapid diminution in the kinds of fish.
This
 brutal fact
along with
 many others has reminded us of the importance of preventing the
extinction
 of species. To summarize, on one hand, the determinists in the issue of
extinction
 are reasonable in submitting to
nature
;
on the other hand
,
this
 kind of respect should not obstruct us from reducing extinctions in order to make
humans
 prosper.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and your position is well-stated. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logical and well-organized. However, try to ensure that every main point is thoroughly developed, and consider adding transitional phrases to enhance cohesion.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly. Keep ensuring that your introduction and conclusion are tightly aligned with your main argument.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, with a clear stance and relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph supporting the central argument.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively written and clearly outline and summarize your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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