You are a current student of Loren Brusque University, studying Business Administration. You want to apply for the post of Quality Assurance Manager you have recently seen on the university's notice board. Write a letter to Mr. Walker, and Give your reason for writing Tell about your education Describe your work experience and explain why you would be suitable for the job. Write at least 150 words.
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Hello Mr. Smith
I saw on the university’s board a notice about
a
vacant position of Correct article usage
the
Quality
Assurance Manager. I am writing to tell you that I want to apply for this
position. I think I fit perfectly because of my background.
Firstly
/First/To begin
with, I would like to describe my education. I’m a fourth-year student at Loren Brusque University. I study
Business Administration. I studied economics, management and production Wrong verb form
am studying
quality
. I study time and people management for factories and know well all quality
standards.
Secondly
, I had an internship at a big manufactory as a Quality
Assurance Manager for six months. I planned the work of one department, controlled plans execution on time and participated in a strategy plan to develop our division. I got a positive review from my boss. It follows that I have the relevant experience for your job.
You wrote that this
position was for part time
. It is very convenient for meAdd a hyphen
part-time
,
because my classes/lectures finish at 1pm and Remove the comma
apply
then
I can work.
I look forward to hearing from you. If you require any further
information, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Regards,
Nadezhda Eliseeva.Submitted by aboykova13 on
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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using a consistent method to introduce your paragraphs (e.g., using 'firstly' for the first point and 'secondly' for the second point, and so on).
task achievement
Ensure the recipient's name is consistent throughout the letter. You addressed the letter to Mr. Smith but later referred to Mr. Walker; choose one and stick with it.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific details about your skills and achievements during your internship to provide a clearer picture of your capabilities.
task achievement
The letter clearly states the reason for writing and provides relevant information about your education and work experience.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is professional and appropriate for a job application.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphing is clear, with each paragraph covering a distinct point, which aids readability.