In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?
Whereas
some individuals are against practising basic tasks such
as commercial operations and work
, through Internet
, another group support Add an article
the Internet
this
advancement. This
essay strongly believes that internet
advancement should be welcomed as,
it can help us to save time and extra costs related to transportation when people practice basic tasks. On top of that, it allows to provide access to essential activities around the world, even in rural and remote areas, making the opportunities more equitable for everyone.
Remove the comma
apply
To begin
with, technological advancements related to the internet
should be seen as positive, because it allows people to save hours and costs practising essential activities. Part of society used to go to the supermarket in order
to buy groceries. However
, nowadays, they can order
it online and select delivery options, resulting in a significant saving of time as well as
costs related to transportation. For instance
, recent research concluded that in the last
decades' families who chose to buy online their groceries have reduced up to 50% of their shopping hours by month.
On top of that, internet
use in society, helps us to provide access to essential activities to people who live in rural and remote locations. Back in the day, if someone from a rural area wanted to study a University career, they should have moved to the city in order
to get access. However
, nowadays, those individuals can study or work
online and remotely. For example
, in Argentina, technology companies such
as Accenture and EY,
opened "Federal Programmes" in Remove the comma
apply
order
to grant possibilities to work
remotely to everyone with no care about locations. These programmes are amazing opportunities for those who live in remote areas but want to achieve big things in their careers.
In conclusion, this
essay agrees with the idea of the internet
's advancement as a positive trend. Providing work
and study opportunities in remote locations and generating a
significant savings in time amount and transport expenses to society are only two of the multiple benefits of Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
new technological era.Submitted by tomasmutilva99 on
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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of counterarguments to demonstrate a balanced approach. Consider acknowledging some potential downsides of internet-based activities to address the topic more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear but could be even more precisely expressed with refined sentence structures. Be sure to vary your sentence lengths and structures for better readability.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This significantly strengthens your essay and makes it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion which frame your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is strong, with each paragraph transitioning smoothly to the next.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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