What do you think about celebrities? Are celebrities good or bad for you?

As
people
focus more on entertaining themselves, celebrities and shows can be seen almost everywhere on TV, magazines, social media… Is idolizing famous
people
harmless or harmful to us? And
thus
, will their popularity have a bad influence on any of us
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Though I personally believe not.
On the other hand
, no
one
can argue that it is totally fine and normal to have a role model or idol in your heart. Which
then
,
people
will tend to act like the person they consider to be perfect. It even comes to me that it is actually beneficial once
one
chooses a good celebrity to look up to.
However
, it’s hard for teenagers to choose
one
rightly. Take an example from those celebs who always brag about their expensive cars, bag collections, rich husbands or luxurious
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
In addition
, Kim Kardashian- famous for scandalous relationships; Jojo Siwa- steals songs from others and brings bad pictures to others with her weird style. these are the
people
who make young
people
misunderstand fame and success,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
daydream about unrealistic things.
While
Correct word choice
On
show examples
on the other hand
, though it is hard to find,
although
it is rare, it is not impossible to find
people
who gain fame from their own strengths.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
Taylor Swift
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is
Correct article usage
an aglobally
show examples
aglobally
Correct your spelling
a globally
globally
acclaimed singer who writes her own
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
and makes her own music.
People
can learn how to stand up after failure and gain confidence from idols like her. Another example of
this
is Keanu Reeves, an actor who is crazily rich but
people
always find him wearing simple clothes, acting kind, gentle and considerate in every move. By looking at these
people
, the youth can learn useful lessons about ambition, tenacity and living kind to others. In conclusion, celebrities may or may not negatively influence us unless we admire the right
one
. And
thus
, young generations should be educated to figure out who should be chosen to be their role model.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point for better readability.
task achievement
Try to provide more balanced viewpoints and develop your ideas further with additional evidence or examples.
general
Make sure to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, allowing the reader to follow the overall argument.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as Taylor Swift and Keanu Reeves, to illustrate points.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • limelight
  • persona
  • mental health issues
  • paparazzi
  • media
  • distressing
  • influence
  • responsibility
  • setting a good example
  • financial stability
  • precarious
  • negative publicity
  • reputation
  • career prospects
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!