People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimentin with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologist claim that parents and other membes of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and effects of widspread drug use by young people. Make recommendation you feel are necessary to help fight drug abuse.

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At
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

current time , young individuals are exposing themselves to different types of
drugs
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. and it is argued whether the bad influence from other members of society
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject influence. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the cause of it . In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay , I will elaborate in regards to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

subject including adding some recommendations .
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers are more exposed to the usage of
drugs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, because they are
easly influneced
Correct your spelling
easily influenced

The words easly influneced seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

by others .
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in
Capitalize word
In

The word in should be capitalized in this context.

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addition , they are unable
identify
Add the particle
to identify

It appears that the verb identify should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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the risk
assosiated
Correct your spelling
associated

If you don’t want assosiated to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with it . First and foremost , there are many
contribution
Change to a plural noun
contributions

The singular countable noun contribution follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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that cause
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

abuse for an individual , whether
its
Replace the word
it's
it is

It appears that the possessive pronoun its should be a contraction instead. Consider changing it.

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the environment or the people they are surrounded by .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

includes family members , friends , and society in general . these are all contributions to
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

addiction , but how ?
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

firstly
Capitalize word
Firstly

The word firstly should be capitalized in this context.

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, the environment that the individual lived in.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Capitalize word
For

The word for should be capitalized in this context.

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instance , living in a toxic environment
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as an abusive household ,will
ultimatley
Correct your spelling
ultimately

If you don’t want ultimatley to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

lead them to the wrong path .
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, sometimes others could experience the same difficulties
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their still thriving in life
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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tells us that it solely depends on how the person chooses to
response
Replace the word
respond

The word response doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to difficult
circumstaces
Correct your spelling
circumstances

If you don’t want circumstaces to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

abuse can affect an individual in various aspects including their home life , career , and relationships . There was a study that was held in Colombia that
examens
Correct your spelling
examined

If you don’t want examens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
affect
Replace the word
effect

The word affect may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
of
drugs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on people
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all ages ,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

demonstrates that every age category is exposed to the risk of
drugs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.Whether
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a
7 year old
Add a hyphen
7-year-old

It appears that 7 year old is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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child or an
80 year old
Add a hyphen
80-year-old

It seems that 80 year old is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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elderly . the results indicated that
drugs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mostly affect young people . In conclusion , as a
society
Add a comma
society,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase as a society. Consider adding a comma.

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we need to set a good example to the younger generation by making sure that they have a deep understanding in regards to danger of
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

usage
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and taking steps to
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure

The word insure doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that they are safe .

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, structure your paragraphs more clearly. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, and ensure that your supporting sentences relate directly to that topic sentence. Linking words and phrases can also help make the text flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every claim or point you make is well-supported with specific examples or evidence. For instance, you mentioned a study from Colombia; providing specific details or statistics from that study would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Summarize your main points succinctly instead of repeating what has already been said. This will make your essay more concise and impactful.
task achievement
Clarify your main ideas by elaborating on them. For instance, when you talk about 'toxic environments,' provide concrete examples to make your point clearer.
task achievement
Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This will also help to convey your ideas more precisely.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to eliminate minor errors in spelling and grammar. This will improve the overall readability of your text.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided relevant points regarding the causes and effects of drug use among young people.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in providing a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to divide your essay into paragraphs, which is good for readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • experiment with drugs
  • legal and illegal substances
  • glamorize
  • portrayal
  • neglect
  • addiction
  • diminished academic performance
  • education programs
  • regulations and enforcement
  • community support programs
  • counseling services
  • positive alternatives
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