People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimentin with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologist claim that parents and other membes of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and effects of widspread drug use by young people. Make recommendation you feel are necessary to help fight drug abuse.
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At
this
current time , young individuals are exposing themselves to different types of drugs
. and it is argued whether the bad influence from other members of society are
the cause of it . In Change the verb form
is
this
essay , I will elaborate in regards to this
subject including adding some recommendations .
Overall
, teenagers are more exposed to the usage of drugs
, because they are easly influneced
by others . Correct your spelling
easily influenced
in
addition , they are unable Capitalize word
In
identify
the risk Add the particle
to identify
assosiated
with it .
First and foremost , there are many Correct your spelling
associated
contribution
that cause Change to a plural noun
contributions
drug
abuse for an individual , whether its
the environment or the people they are surrounded by . Replace the word
it's
it is
This
includes family members , friends , and society in general . these are all contributions to drug
addiction , but how ? firstly
, the environment that the individual lived in. Capitalize word
Firstly
for
instance , living in a toxic environment Capitalize word
For
such
as an abusive household ,will ultimatley
lead them to the wrong path . Correct your spelling
ultimately
However
, sometimes others could experience the same difficulties while
their still thriving in life that
tells us that it solely depends on how the person chooses to Correct pronoun usage
which
response
to difficult Replace the word
respond
circumstaces
.
Correct your spelling
circumstances
Secondly
, drug
abuse can affect an individual in various aspects including their home life , career , and relationships . There was a study that was held in Colombia that examens
the Correct your spelling
examined
affect
of Replace the word
effect
drugs
on people for
all ages , Change preposition
of
this
demonstrates that every age category is exposed to the risk of drugs
.Whether that is
a 7 year old
child or an Add a hyphen
7-year-old
80 year old
elderly . the results indicated that Add a hyphen
80-year-old
drugs
mostly affect young people .
In conclusion , as a society
we need to set a good example to the younger generation by making sure that they have a deep understanding in regards to danger of Add a comma
society,
drug
usage ,
and taking steps to Remove the comma
apply
insure
that they are safe .Correct your spelling
ensure
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, structure your paragraphs more clearly. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, and ensure that your supporting sentences relate directly to that topic sentence. Linking words and phrases can also help make the text flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every claim or point you make is well-supported with specific examples or evidence. For instance, you mentioned a study from Colombia; providing specific details or statistics from that study would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Summarize your main points succinctly instead of repeating what has already been said. This will make your essay more concise and impactful.
task achievement
Clarify your main ideas by elaborating on them. For instance, when you talk about 'toxic environments,' provide concrete examples to make your point clearer.
task achievement
Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This will also help to convey your ideas more precisely.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to eliminate minor errors in spelling and grammar. This will improve the overall readability of your text.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided relevant points regarding the causes and effects of drug use among young people.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in providing a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to divide your essay into paragraphs, which is good for readability.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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