IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people can buy a large variety of household goods more than ever before in most countries in the world.what is the cause of it?Is it a good or bad development?Give your opinion and examples.

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There is no doubt that these days people tend to purchase
goods
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 all over the world. The question is, what is the
cause
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 behind
this
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 matter? and does it
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a negative or positive impact ? In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of causes, technology is a very important
cause
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according to
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this
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 phenomenon.
In other words
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, everybody nowadays used to hold their phones and
make purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 things from inside and outside their country. In terms of
positive
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the positive
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 side, is that the whole
things
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thing
show examples
 that you need is available online and can be delivered to you anywhere you are live.
For instance
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, when you go through
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
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 application and search
about
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for
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 a Laptop you
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 get it in a certain time.
However
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,
this
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cause
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 would tend to
some
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have some
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 drawbacks.
Firstly
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, spending too much money when
purchase
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purchasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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goods
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, even if these
goods
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 that you bought are not necessary for you. To illustrate, buying
goods
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more
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is more
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 than your need.
For example
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, Entering
Shein
Correct article usage
the Shein
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 application and buying plates just because of the lower prices.
Secondly
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, you would waste a lot of time when you use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
for buying
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to buy
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goods
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. The main reason that
support
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supports
show examples
this
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 claim is taking a look
on
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at
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 websites and
application
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applications
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 with no goal,
while
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 you can study or do something
benefits
Correct pronoun usage
that benefits
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 you in the future. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many causes
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 make
this
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tend
Correct your spelling
trend
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology has the largest and strongest
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, I believe that
cause
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 has a negative side on our
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of purchases.

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and words to improve readability. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'in terms of' or 'cause,' consider using synonyms or paraphrasing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you clearly distinguish between the discussion of positive and negative impacts. This will make your argument more balanced and easier to follow.
task achievement
Be careful with subject-verb agreements and singular/plural forms. Simple grammatical errors can detract from the overall quality of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear framework for the essay. This helps the reader understand what to expect and leaves a lasting impression.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples that help illustrate the points being made, such as the reference to Amazon and Shein. This adds depth to the argument and makes it more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • International trade
  • Trade barriers
  • Tariffs
  • Technological advancements
  • Automation
  • Manufacturing processes
  • Efficiency
  • E-commerce platforms
  • Consumers
  • Competition
  • Innovation
  • Diversification
  • Standard of living
  • Disposable income
  • Demand and supply
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