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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era, education has become a broad issue in the general public. A large number of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 argues that it is more
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
 for pupils to work in groups.
However
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, it seems to me that learning lonely is more
supervior
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supervisor
superior
. The following essay will shed light on
this
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 view. First and foremost, people should recognize that studying with friends is not a bad way to improve brainpower. A very important
point
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 to consider
that
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is that
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 it is easier to learn from each other when working in groups.
This
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 means that it is a simple and useful way to widen knowledge. To illustrate
this
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point
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, I would like to mention that learners can broaden their understanding
while
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 discussing with each other. Another
point
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 I would like to make is that students are able to develop their teamwork skills.
This
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 is because of the fact that they have to be flexible to interact with their colleague.
On the other hand
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, people can't deny that it is better for a group of
schoolchild
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schoolchildren
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 to warm up solitarily. An essential opinion to consider
that
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is that
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learing
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learning
 alone
make
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makes
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learner
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learners
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 focus more on lessons.
This
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 means that there is nothing
can
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that can
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 interrupt their training. To demonstrate
this
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 perspective, I would like to mention that scholars just concentrate on their studies without friends, idle talk, etc. Another
point
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 I would like to make is that studying
my
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apply
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one's self is capable of improving independence.
This
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 is because of the fact that pupils need to search
academic
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for academic
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 information, find
out
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apply
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solution
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solutions
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,
revise
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and revise
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 the lessons by
himself
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themselves
show examples
.
To sum up
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, people should have
further
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 consideration on
this
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 problem. From my observation, they should adopt some ways to absorb knowledge

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task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state both viewpoints before giving your opinion. Also, ensure your thesis statement is concise and directly reflects the main points you'll discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your paragraphs more logically structured. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and ends with a concluding sentence.
coherence cohesion
Make better use of transition signals to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly. For example, words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand' can help improve flow and coherence.
task achievement
While discussing both viewpoints, balance your examples and depth of discussion. The argument supporting group study was better explained with examples than the one supporting solitary study.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should be more decisive and provide a clear summary of the points discussed. It should reiterate your opinion clearly and concisely.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both viewpoints before giving your opinion.
task achievement
Good use of examples and reasons to support why group study could be beneficial.
task achievement
You correctly identified key elements like the importance of focus and independence in the solitary study section.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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