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Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#life #development
In the modern era, with the progression of technology, the notion of advertising is getting more and more familiar. In my point of view,
this
 is a positive development for humankind. On the one hand, advertisements are beneficial to manufacturers.
Firstly
, commercial announcements not only support entrepreneurs to sell their products efficiently but
also
 encourage them to improve their products continually.
Thus
, the economy shall grow rapidly.
On the other hand
, advertisements bring significant advantages to citizens.
To begin
 with, for people who are seeking things which they want to buy, commercial announcements give them useful information.
For instance
, smartphones, medicines, foods and some kinds of commodities are common things in television adverts.
In addition
, some advertisements tell dwellers meaningful lessons like protecting the environment, saving energy, preserve natural resources by using their manufactured articles.
To conclude
,
although
 it is often argued whether advertising development is positive or negative, I maintain that advertising is indispensable in the modern world.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
While the essay is generally well-structured, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, mentioning specific advertising campaigns or statistical data can make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use transitional phrases and connectors more effectively to achieve better coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is a bit brief. Consider summarizing the key points discussed in the essay to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a stance on the topic, making it clear that the writer views advertising as a positive development.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.
task achievement
The language used is appropriate and demonstrates a good command of English.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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