Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development ?

In an industrialization and modernization era, advertisement plays a key role in every activity in society. Many residents believe that daily advertising campaigns bring positive improvement to society. In
this
context , dwellers
also
say that
this
may have a negative influence on the citizens around and
also
on the community. I really see a point in it and totally agree with it. Through
this
essay, I will discuss the given statement, give my opinion, and
then
conclude To commence with,
due to
the development of technology and science, there are many advertising ways that were born in order to attract people’s attention
such
as commercials on television, and flyers. These kinds of promotions often attract customers’ attention by their unique effects and the useful information that they provide. Good advertising can provide opportunities for users to buy genuinely essential products.
Furthermore
, those
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
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can assist households in certain aspects of their lives.
For example
, the well-known commercial for the iPhone 15 had a great impact on the advertising industry because that advert provided a tremendous amount of data about the latest technology of the iPhone 15 and many useful features that the previous products of Apple did not have. The alluring advertising charmed billions of people in the United States, and those who actually paid for them reported the deals were truly worthy.
In addition
, not only does the invention of
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
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15 help office workers organize documents and communicate with customers and colleagues easily but it
also
increases the per capita income .
To sum up
, considering all the facts , advertising can bring more positive developments than negative ones .
However
, residents should not rely on it
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion, but it could benefit from a more nuanced argument. Try to briefly hint at both the positive and negative aspects of advertising instead of just stating that you agree with the negative view.
coherence cohesion
The essay can be further improved in coherence by ensuring seamless transitions between paragraphs. As it stands, while there is a logical flow, the jump between sections feels somewhat mechanical.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, elaborate more on the negative aspects of advertising since you stated you agree with that view in the introduction. This would make your argument more balanced and convincing.
task achievement
Your essay does a great job of introducing relevant and specific examples, such as the iPhone 15 advertisement. These examples help to clarify and support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with each paragraph logically following from the one before.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively concludes by summarizing the key points and reiterating your opinion, which gives it a sense of completeness.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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