Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development ?

#life #development

In an industrialization and modernization era, advertisement plays a key role in every activity in society. Many residents believe that daily advertising campaigns bring positive improvement to society. In

this

context , dwellers

also

say that

this

may have a negative influence on the citizens around and

also

on the community. I really see a point in it and totally agree with it. Through

this

essay, I will discuss the given statement, give my opinion, and

then

conclude To commence with,

due to

the development of technology and science, there are many advertising ways that were born in order to attract people’s attention

such

as commercials on television, and flyers. These kinds of promotions often attract customers’ attention by their unique effects and the useful information that they provide. Good advertising can provide opportunities for users to buy genuinely essential products.

Furthermore

, those

merchandises

Fix the agreement mistake

merchandise

show examples

can assist households in certain aspects of their lives.

For example

, the well-known commercial for the iPhone 15 had a great impact on the advertising industry because that advert provided a tremendous amount of data about the latest technology of the iPhone 15 and many useful features that the previous products of Apple did not have. The alluring advertising charmed billions of people in the United States, and those who actually paid for them reported the deals were truly worthy.

In addition

, not only does the invention of

iPhone

Correct article usage

the iPhone

show examples

15 help office workers organize documents and communicate with customers and colleagues easily but it

also

increases the per capita income .

To sum up

, considering all the facts , advertising can bring more positive developments than negative ones .

However

, residents should not rely on it

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Thu Jun 27 2024

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task achievement

The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion, but it could benefit from a more nuanced argument. Try to briefly hint at both the positive and negative aspects of advertising instead of just stating that you agree with the negative view.

coherence cohesion

The essay can be further improved in coherence by ensuring seamless transitions between paragraphs. As it stands, while there is a logical flow, the jump between sections feels somewhat mechanical.

task achievement

In the body paragraphs, elaborate more on the negative aspects of advertising since you stated you agree with that view in the introduction. This would make your argument more balanced and convincing.

task achievement

Your essay does a great job of introducing relevant and specific examples, such as the iPhone 15 advertisement. These examples help to clarify and support your points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is strong, with each paragraph logically following from the one before.

coherence cohesion

The essay effectively concludes by summarizing the key points and reiterating your opinion, which gives it a sense of completeness.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
economic growth
provide information
awareness
job opportunities
manipulative
misleading
consumerism
materialism
invade
personal space

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Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development ?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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