IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people say that main environmental problems of our time are due to lack of some specific species of plants and animals. Other says that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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At present, people are facing problems
due to
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 some changes in the
environment
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. Some people argue that it is caused by to extinction of some specific
animals
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 and plants,
While
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 others argue that there are more crucial issues in the
environment
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. In
this
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 essay I'm going to examine the question from points of view, I'll go ahead and explore my perspective and present my views on
this
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 matter. To commence, in the name of technological developments, certain
animals
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 that are crucial to the
environment
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 were disappearing because of harmful radiation.
For instance
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, networking companies
such
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 as Ncell and NTC were developing 5G technology to improve the efficiency and speed of the network, which may lead to the extinction of
animals
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due to
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 its harmful radiation.
In addition
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, another major issue is deforestation. nowadays, people are likely to cut trees to build their houses or furniture, which leads to the destruction of innocent animal homes and forces them to leave their habitats. on the other side of the argument, the major problem for environmental causes is pollution.
This
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 is because factories release hazardous chemicals which are polluting air and water.
Moreover
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, another major issue is the excessive use of non-biodegradable plastic, which may cause the
environment
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.
For instance
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, plastic takes around 400 years to dissolve in the soil.
To sum up
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, the inexistence of
animals
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 and plants can
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
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 by taking the necessary actions like planting and reducing the spectrum range;
however
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, pollution can cause severe damage to human health and
also
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 to the
environment
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. I believe
this
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 can be avoided by limiting the industries and encouraging them to use paper bags.

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Introduction Clarity
Make sure to provide a clear introduction that outlines the scope of your essay, addressing both perspectives and your opinion directly.
Logical Structure
Strengthen the logical flow by using clear paragraph structures, each dedicated to discussing a specific point.
Linking Devices
Use a wider range of linking devices to improve coherence between ideas within and across paragraphs.
Addressing the Prompt
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. This involves not just stating your opinion, but also providing a balanced discussion of both views before concluding.
Idea Development
Clarify and expand your main ideas by explaining how they relate to the question and ensuring they are directly supported by specific examples or evidence.
Conclusion Strength
Work on providing a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed and clearly restates your opinion without introducing new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • cascade of negative effects
  • global warming
  • air and water pollution
  • deforestation
  • irrevocable changes
  • ecosystem health
  • existential threats
  • sustainability
  • multifaceted approach
  • environmental conservation
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