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Band 7.5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time?

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #waste #time
Taking a
gap
year
 before starting
university
 has become a popular choice among
students
. In my opinion,
this
 decision is far from a waste of time and can offer numerous benefits. If a
student
 chooses to travel during their
gap
year
, they gain invaluable cultural insights and experiences that cannot be taught in a classroom.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 exposes
students
 to different cultures, languages, and lifestyles, broadening their perspectives and fostering a sense of global awareness.
For instance
, a
student
 who spends a
year
 volunteering in South America may return with improved language skills and a deeper understanding of social issues, which can enhance their
university
 studies and future career. If,
on the other hand
, a
student
 opts to gain work experience, they acquire practical skills and a clearer sense of their career goals.
This
 work experience can provide a competitive edge when applying for internships or jobs during and after
university
.
For example
, a
student
 who works in a marketing firm for a
year
 will not only build a professional network but
also
 apply theoretical knowledge in real-world situations, making their academic learning more relevant and impactful.
Moreover
, a
gap
year
 can serve as a valuable period of personal growth and self-discovery. Many
students
 enter
university
 directly from high school with limited life experience. Taking a
year
 to explore interests, develop independence, and reflect on future aspirations can result in more motivated and focused
university
students
. I have personally seen friends who took a
gap
year
 return to their studies with renewed enthusiasm and a clearer sense of purpose. In conclusion, I believe that taking a
gap
year
 is not a waste of time. Whether through travel or work,
students
 gain experiences that enrich their personal and academic lives, ultimately benefiting their future
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Ensure all points are relevant and focused on the prompt—currently, the essay effectively does this.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical flow by using appropriate linking words and signposting—your essay displays excellent coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Excellent use of specific examples, such as volunteering in South America and working in a marketing firm, to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical paragraph organization with clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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