Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some
people
say that music
could be a preferable approach to bring people
from different cultures
and ages together. This
is likely to be true as music
has existed for a long time, and is enjoyed across the world.
Music
could unite different people
because it is such
a universal way for humans to communicate. Music
has been around for ages and it is found across different cultures
and civilizations. It is apparent that different cultures
use similar systems to address musical tones and rhythm. By making use of certain combinations of tones and rhythm, moods or feelings could be conveyed without involving any textual communication that uses verbal language. In this
way, music
could be received even if the receiver speaks different languages. There are also
instances in which music
is used as a part of global movements.
In modern times, music
has become a culture itself. There are a multitude of genres that have their own fans. Whether it is in huge festivals or just a small group, people
come together to play and enjoy their favourite music
. Enhanced by the rapid use of the internet and globalization, this
culture knows no boundary. Fans across the globe interact with each other to discuss their favourite music
performers. In addition
, with the ability to record music
, the same music
could be enjoyed across generations.
To sum up
, music
has the ability to bind people
together. This
is because music
by nature can have a meaning to it without even using language. Music
also
exists in different cultures
, making it a globally acceptable culture.Submitted by faiq.gitu on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that paraphrases the question, provides a thesis statement, and offers a brief outline of the main points to be discussed. Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and conclude each with a summarizing or linking sentence back to the main argument. Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced for clarity and impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your argument is structured and paragraphs are organized, but the logical flow between them can be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraph linking phrases to guide the reader more seamlessly through your argument. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, clearly related to the question, and is developed coherently.
Task Achievement
You need to fully address all parts of the task more directly. State your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclude with a summary of your main points. While you provided some generalized examples, the essay requires more specific examples to support your points effectively. These examples strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.