'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? * Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.

Some people think that without the
use
of social
media
and its developments, it is fairly hard or even impossible to reach the level of position in terms of developing a career and improving the chances of getting the top-paid jobs of those who actively
use
it.
However
, analyzing some bullet points will make it clear that there is no correlation between social
media
and a high position in the company world. Social
media
and its networks let individuals follow both the agenda of the topic and the people who are best at it.
Therefore
, it beneficially makes them to act
accordingly
.
For example
, if a man, who had stocks of GameStop and did not
use
social
media
, would
use
it by the time the stocks had manipulated, it would be most likely to lose less money for him.
On the other hand
, social
media
and its endless resources are vital. But, when looking at the highest managers in the biggest companies, those people do not
use
social
media
at all or not as much as normal citizens. Even the creators and founders of those platforms
such
as Facebook and Twitter, do not let their children have an account. It is because they know the algorithms,
moreover
their possible dangers to the user.
For instance
, the Facebook algorithm can identify what a person loves, with just 10 photos' contexts that they liked, and show them personalized advertisements. To summarize, it can be either beneficial or dangerous depending on how and how much you
use
it. It is a proven fact that these application services steal the data and sell it to others. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
I would not rather
use
it because of the
last
data thief news of Facebook, it is a necessity at some point to enhance both your life and work quality.
Submitted by sonatakcaa on

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introduction conclusion
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logical structure
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supported main points
Ensure that you provide counter-arguments and address them effectively to show a balanced view. This will demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as the example of the Facebook algorithm and GameStop stock manipulation.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas regarding the use of social media for career development. The points raised are pertinent to the task question.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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