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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that unpaid
community
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service
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 should be a mandatory part of high school programmes.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 would add unnecessary pressure on
students
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, I strongly agree with the idea because it teaches valuable life
skills
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 and fosters a sense of social responsibility.
Firstly
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, making
community
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service
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 compulsory can help
students
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 develop important
skills
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. Activities like teaching sports, organizing charity events, or improving
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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 require teamwork, communication, and problem-solving abilities.
For example
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, a student who helps organize a local clean-up drive learns how to collaborate with others and manage time effectively. These
skills
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 are not only useful for academic success but
also
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 prepare
students
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 for future careers.
Secondly
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, unpaid
community
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service
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 encourages young people to contribute to society and understand the importance of helping others. By participating in
such
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 programs,
students
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 can build empathy and a deeper connection to their
community
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.
For instance
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, teaching younger children or supporting local charities helps
students
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 see how their efforts can make a positive impact.
This
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 experience can inspire them to continue volunteering as adults, creating a more compassionate society.
However
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, some people argue that high school
students
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 are already under pressure from academic work, and adding mandatory
community
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service
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 could overwhelm them.
While
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this
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 concern is valid, schools can carefully manage the workload by limiting the number of required hours or offering flexible schedules. In conclusion, I believe that making unpaid
community
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service
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 compulsory in high schools is a positive step. It helps
students
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 develop essential life
skills
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, promotes social responsibility, and benefits the
community
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 as a whole. With proper planning, schools can ensure that
students
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 gain these benefits without feeling overburdened.

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task achievement
To further enhance the task response, include more nuanced perspectives or counterarguments to solidify your position. You could also explore the benefits for different stakeholders, such as parents, teachers, or the community as a whole.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on using a wider range of linking devices or transitional phrases to make connections between ideas even clearer. This will help ensure the essay flows seamlessly from one point to the next.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the task by providing reasons and relevant examples to support the argument for mandatory community service.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion, summarizing key points and reinforcing the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-developed and supported with specific examples that illustrate how students benefit from community service.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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