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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that old buildings should be protected, while others believe that they should be replaced by newer buildings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. (appears most years in the test)

#people #buildings #years #test
While
 some believe that old
buildings
 should be preserved, critics argue that they should be demolished and
instead
, new
buildings
 should be constructed with the latest architectural advancements.
While
 maintaining our heritage and culture through protecting old infrastructure is vital, in my opinion, the adverse effects on health that can develop with living in
such
buildings
 should be kept in mind
while
 making
such
 decisions. Old
buildings
 are an essential component in preserving cultural heritage so their loss will have a detrimental impact on the society’s efforts to safeguard old traditions and practices. Many houses built in India in the past had large courtyards in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 to enable social interactions among family members, which fostered strong bond formation. If
such
 traditional homes are broken down and rebuilt to form modern
buildings
 devoid of cultural identity, it will lead to homogenization, eventually resulting in the loss of cultural identity.
However
, living in
such
 historic
buildings
 can be hazardous and endanger the occupants as stringent safety regulations are often not administered on
such
buildings
.
For instance
, many houses built in the 1980s are responsible for a major share of lead poisoning cases in the USA. If these older
buildings
 are not reconstructed, the safety of their inhabitants cannot be ensured.
Thus
, they should be replaced by new
buildings
 with strong foundations where homeowners can live in peace and not worry about their health.
To conclude
,
although
 preserving our heritage by protecting old
buildings
 is important, I contend that if the safety regulations are not met, strict laws should be enforced to construct new
buildings
 in replacement.
Submitted by Writing8 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, consider adding more linking phrases to clearly show the connection between different points. For instance, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'On the other hand' can be used to transition between paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the discussion well, but it can be improved by including a few more relevant examples to support your arguments. Anecdotes, statistics, or real-life cases can make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow. It opens with an introduction, discusses both viewpoints, and summarizes with a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly articulated your opinion and provided a thorough response to the task. Your ideas are comprehensive and clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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