In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

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A lot of countries offer a strong education for their

students

and some do not.

that is

why there are many benefits to studying abroad during university and many disadvantages.

However

, in my point of view, the benefits

outweighs

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the disadvantages and let me tell you why.

To begin

, studying for a university outside your

country

has many perks.

Firstly

, it can give opportunities for

students

For example

, some countries have a very tough grading system and the student may not get accepted to their hometown educational institution, so studying abroad is a great option for them to chase their dreams. Another benefit is that studying abroad can give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

exposure to reality that can result in them being independent. many

students

who live near or with their families depend a lot on them.

On the other hand

students

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

study abroad are completely dependent on themselves.

While

living away from home during

academy

Correct article usage

the academy

show examples

has many advantages, it

also

has its disadvantages. the main disadvantage is being away from your family and your

country

. Living in a

country

for the majority of the time and all of a sudden going away to a different

country

can result in a cultural shock.

Also

, loneliness can often occur at the beginning of the journey for

students

. being an international student can be difficult

due to

the different environments and cultures. In conclusion,

students

who study abroad can face many serious challenges, but I think the benefits outweigh them. I believe that if they look at it from a positive perspective they will grow in so many ways.

Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on Thu Jun 27 2024

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task achievement

The essay covers both the benefits and disadvantages of studying abroad, but try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are clear, but work on improving the flow between paragraphs. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Conversely.'

coherence cohesion

Ensure your main points are well-developed with adequate explanation and examples to support them. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You successfully addressed the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, demonstrating a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children should be taught academic subjects at school, while others think they should learn practical skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Compared to the past, people can now work in places that are far from their homes because of modern means of transportation. How has this affected the lives of workers? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having modern transportation. Support your answer with specific reasons and example.

Some people believe that governments must apply high taxes to provide good public services for everyone. Give your opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Describe a person you love/like/admire You should say: What relation this person is to you? What are your first memories of this person? How often do you see this person? And explain why you really admire this person.