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In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
A lot of countries offer a strong education for their
students
 and some do not.
that is
 why there are many benefits to studying abroad during university and many disadvantages.
However
, in my point of view, the benefits
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages and let me tell you why.
To begin
, studying for a university outside your
country
 has many perks.
Firstly
, it can give opportunities for
students
.
For example
, some countries have a very tough grading system and the student may not get accepted to their hometown educational institution, so studying abroad is a great option for them to chase their dreams. Another benefit is that studying abroad can give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 exposure to reality that can result in them being independent. many
students
 who live near or with their families depend a lot on them.
On the other hand
,
students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 study abroad are completely dependent on themselves.
While
 living away from home during
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
 has many advantages, it
also
 has its disadvantages. the main disadvantage is being away from your family and your
country
. Living in a
country
 for the majority of the time and all of a sudden going away to a different
country
 can result in a cultural shock.
Also
, loneliness can often occur at the beginning of the journey for
students
. being an international student can be difficult
due to
 the different environments and cultures. In conclusion,
students
 who study abroad can face many serious challenges, but I think the benefits outweigh them. I believe that if they look at it from a positive perspective they will grow in so many ways.
Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on

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task achievement
The essay covers both the benefits and disadvantages of studying abroad, but try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear, but work on improving the flow between paragraphs. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Conversely.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are well-developed with adequate explanation and examples to support them. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully addressed the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, demonstrating a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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