Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate
over reaching
family Correct your spelling
overreaching
history
. While
some claim that it is necessary for people
to investigate family history
, the opposite makes a statement that concentrating on the present and the future generations is more important. While
the former is valid to some extent, I regard myself as an advocate of the latter.
Without a shadow of a doubt, investigating family history
is essential. Doing research assists people
understand
their family tree. Change preposition
in understanding
Additionally
, research creates favorable
conditions to discover biological aspects which are conducive for doctors to find out the treatment of genetic diseases. To be more specific, some genes or DNA have hints for doctors to be able to effectively diagnose the possibility of infection Change the spelling
favourable
such
as asthma or cancer. Hence
, investigating family history
is quite essential.
While
the redeeming features of research are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if concentrating on the present and future generations is ignored, which plays a paramount significant role. This
might probably be because they are the people
who can be present to aid us promptly whenever we are in need of help. For example
, when we have financial problems, our parents, cousins, siblings, or relatives are the people
who can help us. Therefore
, they are the people
who should be focused on in terms of spending time looking after them and strengthening the bonds among family members.
In a nutshell, both viewpoints on researching family history
have their own merits. I believe that future generations should be put into the priority.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
To improve your essay and score higher in the IELTS writing section, consider the following advice split by evaluation criteria.
**Task Achievement:**
- Try to fully develop your argument for both sides and your own view. This may involve more specific examples or more detailed explanations of how each view affects individuals and society.
- Ensure that your conclusion summarises your arguments and clearly states your own opinion. Your opinion should also be more evident throughout the essay, not just mentioned at the end.
**Coherence and Cohesion:**
- Work on the logical structure of your essay by ensuring there is a clear connection between paragraphs and within paragraphs themselves. Transition phrases can help establish these connections.
- Having a clear introduction and conclusion is crucial. Make sure your introduction outlines the essay's topic and your stance, while your conclusion should neatly tie together your arguments.
- Support your main points with more detailed examples. This will make your argument more compelling and easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
To elevate your score, focus on refining the coherence and cohesion of your essay. This involves not only the structural aspect but also the logical flow and connectivity between your ideas.
- Enhance the logical structure by more clearly signaling each section of your essay, such as the introduction, the examination of each viewpoint, and your own opinion. This can be achieved by using clear topic sentences and concluding sentences for each paragraph.
- Make sure to present an introduction and conclusion that frame your discussion clearly. Your introduction should set the scene for the debate and outline the points to be discussed, whereas the conclusion should synthesize these discussions, reinforcing your stance.
- Each of your main points would benefit from being supported by more detailed and concrete examples. This adds depth to your argument and helps the reader to understand the practical implications of your views.
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