In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Recently, there have been a lot of discussions about
health
and whether it is going to improve or not. In my opinion, I think that people
will become unhealthier in the future
than they are now.
There are many reasons that support the idea of people
becoming unhealthy in the future
. Firstly
, one reason is that of food
. People
tend to eat more fast food
nowadays. They tend to treat themselves with sweets and chocolate whenever they want. This
appears to be because people
are busier now than they used to be. So, people
don’t have a chance to cook or even learn the art of cookery. Also
, having a lot of unhealthy food
can lead to obesity and it could be a serious issue in the future
. Another reason is that technology
is developing everyday
. Young Replace the word
every day
people
enjoy buying new gadgets and the latest devices. This
has a negative impact on their health
, especially when they enjoy video games. Spending long hours looking at a screen can lead to bad eyesight and obesity as well. Yet another reason is that laziness is a big issue. Different forms of exercise
might disappear in the future
because people
don’t like sports. Also
, people
prefer spending most of their time on the internet and the internet is growing every single day.
Other people
might disagree and say that health
will improve in the future
. They believe that new sports and new ways to exercise
will appear in the future
. However
, I don’t think it can happen since the majority of people
spend less time outdoors. Moreover
, other people
believe that technology
will try and help people
improve their health
. For example
, there have been some games released on the Wii console that makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
people
exercise
but technology
is developing more in a negative way.For instance
, many phone industries are developing new applications everyday
and today’s generation likes to follow every trend. Replace the word
every day
This
prevents people
to go
outside to Change preposition
from going
exercise
.They like to spend more time on the internet
downloading new programmes or reading gossips
about Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
celebraties
. Correct your spelling
celebrities
This
affects people
’s health
badly.
In conclusion, I believe that people
’s health
is affected negatively by fast food
, technology
and sports and it will be a problem in the future
.Submitted by toqeer44 on
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coherence cohesion
To score higher, consider organizing your ideas more effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point, and these points should be logically connected.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to coherence. Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly by using transition words and phrases, and by maintaining a consistent focus within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided several reasons and counterarguments regarding the future of people's health, which shows a comprehensive approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.