IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

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It is argued that some individuals favour electronic books over paper books.
Although
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 e-books benefit the environment and are easy to
use
Use synonyms
;
However
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, they sometimes have problems with longevity or the ability to possess one.
This
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 essay will discuss both views, and I will argue that both views have valid points. On the one hand, some schools and universities prefer students to
use
Use synonyms
 e-books over paper to study as it is environmentally friendly. Promoting the
use
Use synonyms
 of devices to study a specific subject, can have a positive impact on the environment and
therefore
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 decrease deforestation.
In addition
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, it is
also
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 convenient and portable because students no longer have to carry heavy booklets that can negatively impact their health.
For example
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, studies have shown, that thirty per cent of schools in Germany have now switched to using i-pads, and laptops because of the positive impact it has on the student's
overall
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 being.
On the other hand
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, it is evident that there are shortcomings to advancements in technology. Perhaps the most significant drawback could be the longevity.
This
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 means that
although
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such
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 devices could be spectacular in the way they work, their battery life does not
last
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 for a long time and may often require charging.
Moreover
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, in some cases, with the ever-rising cost of living, the expense of having e-books can be prohibitive.
For instance
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,
this
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 case was seen during COVID-19 were education switched to online platforms and families were forced to provide their young ones with tablets that were expensive. In conclusion, there are advantages to cutting down the
use
Use synonyms
 of paper because it promotes sustainability and is beneficial for the student's health in the long run.
In contrast
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, there are
also
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 shortcomings to utilising e-devices as they may be costly and they may regularly need to be charged. It appears to be that the benefits of
such
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 technological advancements over papers have advantages that help make the lives of individuals easier and disadvantages that can prevent people from using them in education.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly and logically. While the essay follows a general format, clarifying the links between your ideas will enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
Expand on individual points and provide a more in-depth analysis or examples to illustrate your arguments better.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views on e-books and paper books, which is critical for a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written, effectively framing and summarizing the key points of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
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