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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the performance of three different branches of a chain of restaurants in three different locations in Vancouver for the year 2016. It is evident that the best performer is the
branch
Use synonyms
 in
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
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, which with 854
transactions
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 a day on average has at least 100 more
transactions
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 than
Dunsmuir
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Street
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 and more than double
Correct pronoun usage
that from
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from
Change preposition
of
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Drake
Use synonyms
Street
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.
Georgia
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Street
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 ahead in terms of
average
Add an article
the average
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 transaction value (ATV), with $10.69 per transaction compared to
Dunsmuir
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Use synonyms
Street’s
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 $5.61 and
Drake
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Use synonyms
Street’s
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 $9.02. On average, eat-in and
take-away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
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transactions
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 are almost equal in each restaurant, with
take-away
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takeaway
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transactions
Use synonyms
 ending slightly ahead in two of them.
Drake
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Street
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 is the only exception, with eat-in
transactions
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 surpassing take-away by 10. The table
also
Linking Words
 gives us information about the most popular item in each
branch
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, revealing that the eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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 of customers in each area are widely varied:
Georgia
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Use synonyms
Street’s
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 best seller is Chicken Burger,
while
Linking Words
Dunsmuir
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Use synonyms
Street’s
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 customers favour Chicken Wings, and
Drake
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Use synonyms
Street’s
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 customers prefer Chicken Pasta. 
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Georgia
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Street’s
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branch
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 is the company’s most profitable
branch
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, with the highest number of
transactions
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 and ATV.
Drake
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Street
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, lags far behind, despite the fact that its ATV is higher than
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by redsiliud on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words branch, georgia, street, transactions, dunsmuir, drake, street’s with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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