People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #possessions #friendships #relationships

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To begin

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with, in a world marked by economic progression,

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the

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grim reality of a materialistic society is becoming increasingly prevalent.

This

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is featured markedly with images of people being fanatical about luxury goods as one means to flaunt their wealth and success. What is worse is the added competition among friends in

such

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relentless pursuits of status and money,

hence

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undermining core values of human bonding. An acquisitive society placing an emphasis on

personal

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the personal

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accumulation of possessions can

also

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be reflected in an economy that relies heavily on debt and consumer spending, most notably

with

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Korea where the majority of citizens are getting trapped in astounding credit debts.

Furthermore

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, expensive communication technology should be made responsible for

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the

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fragmented relationship of human beings. The proliferation of smartphones and social media means people tend to depend heavily on state-of-the-art communication methods to keep in touch with friends on a daily basis. At first glance,

this

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seems idealistic and promising, yet the real problem is that

such

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alternatives to face-to-face communication often overlook the nuances of emotions and body

languages

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language

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thus

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perpetuating a superficial way to establish liaison with others, one that highlights selfishness and debases empathy

as well as

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other virtues.

However

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, my stand on criticisms against material possessions taking precedence over

development

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the development

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of personal

relationship

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relationships

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is that

such

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a harsh attitude is biased and one-dimensional. It should be recognized that not everybody is materialistic and driven by money and that the formed attitude is an outcome of upbringing, personality, and friendship groups. There are societies, China or Japan to be mentioned, that still set great stores by family bonding

while

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focusing on monetary gains.

Submitted by mainht88 on Fri Jun 28 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Expand on the introduction or provide a brief conclusion that sums up your arguments for a stronger structure.

logical structure

Use more connector phrases and transitional words to ensure a seamless flow between different ideas and paragraphs.

complete response

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and discusses various aspects of the topic, providing a complete response.

clear comprehensive ideas

The main ideas are clearly expressed and well-organized, allowing the reader to follow your arguments easily.

relevant specific examples

The examples given (e.g., Korea's credit debt, influence of smartphones) are relevant and specific, helping to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

275 words

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People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

new technologied and ways of buying and seling are transfoming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agreeor disagree with this opinon.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh disadvantages?

: In many countries, people now living longer than before some people say that the aging population creates several problems for the government while others argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people ? tell me advantages and disadvantages

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries the average wight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes if these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?