Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
some economically successful countries have a clean environment and others do not. I think
this
can be achieved if the country
puts a plan for it. In this
essay, I will discuss both points of view and support them with evidence.
To begin
, even though many countries are economically successful and have a clean environment that can be achieved by many factors. Firstly
, these two aims are certainly achievable by devoloping
new technology to assist it. Correct your spelling
developing
For example
, Japan and China are very wealthy and they have a very clean environment because they have high-end technology that helps them keep nature clean. Also
, if the ministry puts regulations and fees, for disrupting the public areas, it is possible to keep the country
polished.
On the other hand
, some countries are very thriving in their profits, but have a
very polluted air. Remove the article
apply
Furthermore
, the more the country
grows in terms of its economic state the more it will fall into the problem of pollution of the ecosystem. However
, this
can be avoided by the right system and technology. To illustrate, the
Correct article usage
a
country
that does not put regulations and rules on keeping nature clean and spotless will most definitely have an unclean ecosystem.
In conclusion, as hard as keeping the ecosystem clean, it is possible at the end
of the day and they can be compatible. In my opinion, I think it is achievable if the right system is present and if the citizens contribute to it.Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt and covers both viewpoints. However, try to provide more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, explaining how specific technologies contribute to a clean environment would improve your essay.
task achievement
Make sure all your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented. Some sentences are slightly abrupt and could be expanded for better clarity. For example, your introduction could be more developed, and adding a topic sentence to each body paragraph would help guide the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'in addition,' 'for instance,' or 'consequently' can help make your arguments more cohesive. Try to link your ideas more logically across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that detract from the overall coherence of your essay. Ensure you proofread your essay to eliminate minor mistakes and enhance sentence structure. For instance, 'if the ministry puts regulations and fees, for disrupting the public areas' could be clearer as 'if the government imposes regulations and penalties for polluting public areas.'
task achievement
You have appropriately addressed the task and included a clear introduction and conclusion. This is vital to achieving a high score in all criteria.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally logically structured, and you have made a commendable effort to explain both sides of the argument. This demonstrates a good understanding of the essay requirements.
task achievement
You provided specific examples such as the mention of Japan and China, which help to illustrate your points and make your essay more compelling.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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